lirik lagu nekrome - proud of me
[intro]
i can’t count all the tears that i’ve cried
plenty more than the stars in the sky
when it’s dark i stare off with the night, i’m alive
why is it so hard to let go? and give it all to the unknown
there’s no guarantee that it’s gonna be alright
with a constant reminder of life’s finite time, i’m running out of time
[verse 1]
so i give it all to god
i been trying oh so hard
my legs only go so far
and i’m always in the way of myself
deep down i still hate myself
but i don’t wanna change myself
i don’t want to rearrange myself
i just wanna love the man i am
but i’m not secure in my body
they tell me they love me, i don’t understand
my homie was onto something when he got it tattooed, barely a man
’cause the expectation’s outrageous
i feel out of place and i’m lacking the things that they say i need
i gotta be healthy, i gotta be wealthy
i gotta be handsome and live in a mansion
way out in the hamptons, with a twelve car garage at least
did i forget to mention, you gotta be smart
and you gotta work harder than everybody
to provide for your family, man how do i do it all?
they tell me i’m gifted, they tell me i’m talented
why do i never believe ’em?
why can’t i live with assurance and fully fledged confidence?
i just don’t know my worth
i just can’t find what i deserve
so i just leave it to rot in the dirt
and to dig to the root of the problem is strenuous and i don’t wanna get hurt (no)
[refrain]
push it away
so i just push it away
that’s how i deal with the pain
yeah, i just push it away
but that don’t solve nothing, no, no
cause i won’t never ever feel whole
where do i go?
i don’t know, i don’t know
[pre~chorus]
why can’t i?
push it away?
push it away?
push it away~ay~ay?
push it away?
why can’t i push you away?
why can’t i push you away?
[chorus]
you know i love you
try to feel it again
to be honest
i’m just so d~mn scared
that i’m not enough
that i’m not enough
that i’m not enough
that i’m not enough, no
[verse 2]
why can’t i lift this weight off my chest?
i wonder if i’m made for the test?
yeah i understand that i’m blessed, but some of my stress
comes straight from the wild west of the internet
constant pressure to impress
the strangers and guests that spread their opinions, like wildfire
blast it all over the wi~fi
plastering hate to my timeline
just to cover up how they really feel
but y’all don’t think about the other side
and the impact of your words
’cause for a long time i was fragile
based on the things that i heard
based on the things that i read
based on the things that they said about me
they thought about me, wonder if they even talk about me?
what’s their opinion on me? do they love me or hate me?
do the pretty women wanna date me?
so much validation that i’m chasing, i swear
[pre~chorus]
it’s a dangerous game
seeking approval from ghosts
no more playing it safe
it’s time to unveil the cloak
no more running away
no more running away
no more running away
[chorus]
you know i love you
try to feel it again
to be honest
i’m just so d~mn scared
that i’m not enough (i ain’t gonna let you)
that i’m not enough (you get the best of me)
that i’m not enough (i’ma fight for the rest of me)
[verse 3]
yeah, i’ma bouta kick all the doors down
i’m bouta break through the walls
saying goodbye to the old me, no more answering his calls
no more dwelling in the past, no pain i ain’t gonna bare
no more falling for the old ways, it’s time to repair
but not in the physical, in my mental
and it won’t be coincidental
i’ma fight for it every day, ain’t gon run away
the enemy trembles
i’ma search to the end of the earth
to find a woman who sees who i am
then i’ma give her all i can, i’ma give her all i can
yeah, i’m gonna find someone who loves me for me
but it’s impossible if i don’t love who i see
so i’m cleaning the mirror
wash it away ’til my vision is clear and i’m happy with who i see
and it took a while, for that boy to smile
but i’m finally proud of me
i’m finally proud of me
i’m finally proud of me
i said i’m finally proud of me
i’m finally proud of me
[outro]
i know i ain’t perfect, but i’m still worthy of love
if you’re ever hesitant, take a second and remind yourself, i am enough
and please keep your head up, i know that it’s hard and life gets rough
but i believe in you, you can do it too
cos i’m finally proud of me
i’m finally proud of me
i’m finally proud of me
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