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lirik lagu names - pigeon chess

i finally understood what, “i’m sick of meaning,” meant
when we first talked
now i get why these are only lyrics
a lot can be said in a name
a lot ignored into what i can’t face
at least i know where i stand if you’re walking away

[spoken]
is this the part where it goes into like a 6/8 feel and the lyrics start flowing a little better?
wait, i think we’ve got some kind of time signature or instrumental part first

drop the pretense, i remind you of her
or maybe that’s not true
i hate mysеlf in ways that can’t occur to you
just throw myself against the wall and hope somеthing sticks
f~ck, i’m asking for a month again
just let me not feel sick to my stomach when i look at myself
just let me not feel disgusted when i sit in my bed
thinking how i fell for it a fourth time
just take me in my sleep
because that’s the only way that i’ll know
that you even wanted to
because i assign malintent to myself
better than most do

’cause i’m doing better but i don’t have a reason to be anymore
and i’m getting nostalgic for when i was crying about missing home
it feels like a weight’s lifted off of my chest
and put straight onto my head
i could have always known this wouldn’t work out
just wish it didn’t work out some other way
it’s kind of self~fulfilling
the way i think things are gonna go
if i don’t speak it into existence
maybe i’ll drive through the snow
to your house
like i was supposed to this thursday
this day was always set up to k!ll me
so i should’ve known

so i’ll start planning for panic attacks
instead of just texting you
not distracted at work anymore
i just stare into sp~ce
make a call to my dad on my fifteen
my hands still numb from the cold
wipe the tears out of my face and choke out the words
“i’m fine, dad, how’s tampa?”

i think i’m gonna have to change my name again
you never have to see my f~cking face again
if you don’t want to
i’m sorry
i’m just scared
you know how it is
it’s f~cking freezing
i wish i was home
i wish i was with you
it’s too f~cking cold
i’m fixing my car
there’s nowhere to drive now
just back to the coast
and i’m passing you by there
just let me try again
wipe it clean, change the names
get acquainted again
and hide from everything
take me back to july
let me stop on the drive
didn’t need to get home yet
and i still felt alive

i’m sorry again
i don’t know what for
i just need to say it
i need to stay warm
can’t hide in my car
it’s too f~cking cold now
can’t hide in your arms
it’s too f~cking weird now
with you off the line
not wasting your time now
these words still ain’t mine
i’m hoping it’s fine now
if i’m changing my name
it’s for somewhere to hide
i feel too uncomfortable
i’m sitting outside
i can lend you my coat now
i can’t share my name
and if it’s only words now
i know who to blame
it’s always myself
that’s not myself
we can pretend

[spoken]
i think i need to change my name again

- lirik lagu names

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