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lirik lagu motionplus - home ain't a home

[verse: motionplus]
imagine this, i was 10 months old
i was beaten black and blue by a hand so cold
an alcoholic rage, cause i’m sick, and tears flowed
the only answer that he had was to whoop me til i dosed
froze when i heard the story, looked at momma, man it tore me
20 years later and you still put this man before me?
even now that’s the past, here’s the present
when he passed away, he still haunted my very essence
go from the beginning, i’m a product of rape
my mom was 14, inside herself, she felt the hate
with run away cases, and court dates she’s facing
divorced parents, hatred, she found herself pacing
wild in the streets, in the sheets and when she had me
she had zero clues on which dude was my daddy
named off 3, but a 4th would come later
a person she denied but dna don’t run favors
razor blade sharp, the truth had me bleeding
but let’s re~focus on the baby beaten demon
when i was born, my grandmother took me home
my mom was kinda there, but the streets she kinda roamed
at 15, she met a beast, instantly he took her peace
felt her pain, hooked his chain, like a owner hooks a leash
he’s 26, a pedophile if you ask me
in a swinger’s lifestyle and he’s trashy
married her at 16, beat her since that first ring
physical and s~xual abuse was the worse thing
20/20 hindsight, to get my mind right
my heart hurts for my momma, but she’s bound tight
she never found life, simple not profound like
comfort in dysfunction what she found in this clown life’s
i lived with granny till the cancer came and k!lled her
for 14 years, immense love, and i can feel her
still till this day, but that day it all changed
brought to a home that engaged in all rage
12 gauge sh~lls, on a shelf of all p~rn
2nd hand smoke, filled an atmosphere of scorn
he drank while we cried, looked my momma in the eyes
grabbed her by the neck and said i’m glad you momma died
said he cut her head off and shove it in her face
turned and looked at me and said your b~st~rd son’s a waste
kicked me in the waist, and slapped me where i taste
she begged him to stop, and cried to keep me safe
he beat her even worse than the beaten that i took
i hide for 2 weeks, out of school from how i looked
i was pumpkinhead, lumped and red, slumped like i’m dumped for dead
said that we should leave but my momma never fought the threat
life was h~ll, and brimstone was in his eyes
in my 16 years, those fears, were my demise
i started fighting back, started knuckling and scr~p
he started down the path of pistol whipping with a strap
so many tales that i could tell i gotta focus
but to keep me safe, my mom chose to leave me homeless
summer of 91, i felt abandoned by my mother
she choice to love him, over me i’m in the gutter
i’m fighting for a meal, while she’s fighting on the nightly
i’m screaming at the world, won’t you come and try and fight me
all i had was rhymes, and these prayers that i’d make it
and when i had children that i’d always hold them secret
break every curse that these generations wore
i could tell even more but the situations war
[scratch: a~f~r~o]
(see me?)

[hook: motionplus]
this home ain’t a home and this life ain’t a life
i really need a momma but she’d rather be his wife
the pain of a child still haunts me every night
praying since a child, that the dark will turn to light

this life ain’t a life and this home ain’t a home
ptsd the only letters that i know
does it get better what i ask when i’m alone
my daddy was a monster and monsters like to roam

- lirik lagu motionplus

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