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lirik lagu morose sandwich & cobblestone - google calendar

[intro: cobblestone (as gareth)]
yeah
just finished my shift

[verse 1: cobblestone (as gareth)]
hard day at the office
going to the offies
going to get bud light and drink it with the homies
then go home, get in my jammies
bedtime at 9pm
i’m just a lonely accountant for h&m
i live a gangster lifestyle like eminem
but i’m never late
no no no i’m never late
i may be gareth but you can call me the planner
went from working as a janitor
to a retail ambassador
arrange my work life balance on a google calendar

[chorus: morose sandwich]
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar

[verse 2: jizzy p]
got a lot to say but a lot of it is waffle
but they put me on anyway, sandwich and cobble
saw me at hope & anchor and said get writing
5 pints deep my bars still lightning
patchy said go swindon but i wouldn’t recommend it
on the magic roundabout it wasn’t tremendous
at least bromley won and they f~cking meant it
1~0 win it was f~cking stupendous
but that weren’t my only journey, i’ve been on the rails
tryna see my pals before the network fails
northwest london but it’s actually the moors
countryside living but i still love the tour
then we go international, london, copenhagen
heard the cigs are half price, f~cking haven
and then we’re back in london for when i’m finally hosting
lucy robinson at trans pride, utter woke nonsense
[chorus: morose sandwich, cobblestone & jizzy p, morose sandwich]
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar (i’m on my google calendar)
i’m on my google calendar (chyeah, chyeah)

[verse 3: morose sandwich]
chyeah, i’m on my google calendar
it’s the best bank balancer
lucy is my grandmother
i’m on the rap scene, i’m a dabbler
dabbler like i just joined the migos
i’ve got bad t~~th, they’re not like beavo’s
flying to turkey just to get cheap clothes
with jeremy, but not the one from peep show
leaving in one week it’s making me sad
all the times that i had in the booth yeah it’s mad
with jizzy p, he’s like my dad
love the football i’ve been to him, he is a lad
and finally two weeks late finished my work
two nights ago cried but tonight i will twerk
we’ve got scabby toad 1.5, sounds like a perk
the song of the summer, your song is the worst
now i’ve got to organise the rest of my summer
not being in crown place will be a bummer
i’m looking to see when my friends they can come up
so they can meet my cats and my mumma
so much time then but it will still fly by
i’ve got to have something keep track of my life
so i’m on my google calendar every night
trying to find everyone a little time
i promise you this not a paid promotion
scabby toad 1.5 this feels like a promotion
i’m on my google calendar every day
working out whether i’m going to work or play
i’m just really looking forward to seeing my mates
[chorus: morose sandwich, cobblestone & jizzy p]
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar

[verse 4: hobbn0bb]
google calendar, i don’t use it
maybe i should so i then i’d be sorted
last time i had a hobn0b, wait when was it?
maybe if i had google calendar i’d remember it
i’ll download it and i’ll schedule it in
eat a hobn0b and my new life will begin
i am no longer diddy!
oh google calendar!
the things i could remember!
if only i had google calendar!

[chorus: all]
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar

[interlude: cobblestone]
big up the gc
i ain’t talk talkin gunslingers collective (awooga)
[verse 5: cobblestone]
max printsmith (yuh)
gonna give that man a big kiss (mwah)
can’t see me like you’re epileptic
just saw your mum now she is erected (jungle is massive)
i showed her my calendar
my google calendar (bluku!)
my gc make me punctual (on time)
you know cobblestone never unpunctual
sh~t in your pants like bunsen
your mum smells like an onion (stinky)
oh you got a meeting at 1 pm
and i heard that you slept in
suck on your dad like a peppermint
you’re on my finger like a thumbprint
n0bbly bobbly darragh’s cobbly
after you’ve eaten all of that broccoli
heard you don’t even cook it properly
you just wham it in
got broccoli in your gob
like anna norman (i’ve seen her eat broccoli)
i’m sat here with p diddy
but that’s no longer her identity
it’s hobbn0bb (hobbn0bb)
this morning i had a bacon cob
hold the mustard, like james
s~xing your mother yeah that is my aims
i got an appointment at 3pm on a tuesday afternoon on my google calendar, it’s to go and have s~xual relations with your mother (freaky style!)
i marked it in red (important)
cause google lets you colour code it
nah i ain’t gloating (boasting)
but your calendar’s on the wall
how the f~ck are you going to use that when your on the go (useless)
i’m with your mother planning to be your dad
i’m not gonna rush her like stalingrad (soviet union)
i’m gonna sing you a poem that’s really sad
google calendar
i’m no longer a lonely bachelor
you colour code makes me want to link
events in blue, appointments in pink
catch me in the weston ice rink (ouch!)
i can’t swim so i might sink (bbbllblbl)
google calendar, oh how i love you
there’s just so much, that i can do
colour coding, no more not knowing
what time you need to go to the doctors in the morning
you can plan a month ahead, you could plan even three
and the best part, the apps completely free
calendar
calendar
calendar
calendar

[chorus: all]
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar
i’m on my google calendar

[outro: cobblestone & morose sandwich]
calen, calen, calendar
calen, calen, calen, calendar
calen, calen, calen, calendar
oh~oh~oh~oh~oh~oh~oh

- lirik lagu morose sandwich cobblestone

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