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lirik lagu molemanninethousand - ralph bakshi vs. don bluth

[intro: the announcer]
moleman’s epic rap battles!!!!!!!!!
don bluth…
…vs…
…ralph bakshi!!!!!!
begin!

[verse 1: don bluth]
let me kickstart this confrontation, skipping past all formal nonsense;
spend less time bush~beating than you took to show a hippo’s johnson:
i stuck it to disney hard, inspiring their return to form
while you inspired ren and stimpy’s adult show, plus furry p~rn!
bankruptcy couldn’t keep this good don down, you perverted, racist slob;
you’re stoned as any troll queen’s victims if you think you’ll do the job!
i bring choice tales to life, from b.c. times to after earth’s destroyed
so tell your freaky doodle friends that i’m one ‘noid they’d best avoid!
i’ve got a master plan to which not even jenner’d raise objection
and for oncе, i won’t let any execs muck with thosе intentions
dusting cels at terrytoons is where you should have stayed for life:
just think how crumby your career would be if not for robert’s wife!
there’ll be no tacked~on happy end to what i’ll put you through today
so disregard what you were told by xanadu, and walk away!
as sharp as any t~rex chompers while attacking microphones;
hey, i’m one don more liable to p~ss you off than corleone!

[verse 2: ralph bakshi]
think me some bigot p~rnographer; when will you people learn?
no, i’m your lyrical hitman, and things won’t take a peaceful turn;
the burns i spit’ll worse~than~singe you once you step in my lair, fool
so brace for an unfiltered lecture, courtesy of bakshi school:
you’re f~cking with the patron saint of animation’s underground
who’s in control of more than just the flippers as he knocks you ’round!
coonskin made negroes doubt my whiteness, but i’ll make you go albino;
milk this track for all it’s worth like universal has your dinos!
i’ll tear you more holes where sun don’t shine than rock~a~doodle’s plot
so don’t be fursecuting me; you tried to make a pheasant hot!
me, i show people how things are, especially when it ain’t pretty;
never pandering, i keep real even with the nineteen~fifties!
i’m a wiz at tackling the heavy: drugs, war, segregation
all while channelling pop music’s power through the generations!
i beat south park to t.v.; made even nicktoons take some pages
in inspiring disney’s renaissance, you brought your own dark ages!
[verse 3: don bluth and mrs. brisby]
listen here now, rotoscope~it ralph: don’t charge me with shark~jumping
’cause it’s clear that you and mighty mouse have both been snorting something
oh, and while on the subject of mice, i’ve brought a friend along
so let me just stare at you for a bit while she takes up this song:
get ready to be made a jackass of, and no small one, at that
by a deceptively small heroine who’ll halt you in your tracks
and needs no magic stone to show her strength within a verbal fight;
the n.c.’s number three, this widow’s d~mn~near~black in terms of bite!
you’ll catch pneumonia from my chilling l!cks; i’ll whoop you as you cough
and how can you survive this clash when half your own fl!cks axed you off?
well, here’s my beef: i rented one of your alleged “family” titles
and its wack content transformed my martin into eric idle!
gobbling chump cartoonists up like quarters by my game machines
i’ll push more of your b~ttons than it takes to get dirk through a scene!
each insult in my pool of disses is heart~stopping as duke’s death is;
seeing this battle to its finish! unlike you with tolkien’s epic!

[verse 4: ralph bakshi and fritz the cat]
using someone else’s character as your mascot? for shame;
she’ll get flung clear across the valley like what should have been her name!
in any case, your dr. seuss schtick is a game two can partake in
so here, kitty, kitty: come and bust rhymes harder than your rating!
time to buckle down for once; i won’t be bugging out, my homie
when i join in your revolt against this thick~skulled p~ssy~phony!
sorry, wishful~thinking mice: america has many cats
but not one other’s quite the superstar that fritz is; that’s a fact!
among all indie cartoon fl!cks, none’s gross or grossness has been higher;
pushed the envelope? i set the godd~mn p.o. box on fire!
a far~out, revolutionary poet who’ll torment your soul
i’ve battled many a good man, but you ain’t one of them, assh0l~!
i’ll leave you breathless as when fievel’s ballad lost to aviators;
make sweet music with the innards of your big~lipped alligator!
b~tch, you make dom deluise look like some kind of k!ller tiger;
c.n.r.’s butch next to you! and he don’t mean weird al’s take, either!
[verse 5: don bluth, mrs. brisby and charlie barkin]
your brain must be on the fritz! and i thought dragon was a pain;
to call that pr~ck’s film an “experiment” makes nimh’s tests seem humane!
man, how he’s even still alive is a schrodinger~worthy question;
either way, methinks this calls for some angelic intervention…
lookie here, now: what a shock; i’m yet again among the living
but i’ll see that you can never come back from the jibes i’m spitting!
you should let me be surprised and make like clocks; start turning back
or else not even your love’s going to survive this rap~attack!
your pal makes holden caulfield look heroic, lynching porky coppers
and i’ll shut him down like ralph’s hopes to adapt the catcher proper:
watch me take away his life, and then the other eight as well
because all dogs may go to heaven, but that cat can yiff in h~ll!
the bottom line is: you go too d~mn far and he don’t say that lightly…
while your bars are cheaply~cobbled as your stint with sixties spidey!
it won’t turn out to be just a daydream when i blow your mind
until you’re gone with naught a trace, and only photos left behind!

[verse 6: ralph bakshi, fritz the cat and avatar the wizard]
a canine standing between cat and mouse; what is this, tom and jerry?
also: what did you make time warp on? i’d pay to try that cr~p
my next creation, by contrast, need not be high to roll with fairies
so hold on together tight, now, not that you’ll be spared his wrath…
it’s time to shift away from urban life and toward the more fantastic;
the o.g. post~cataclysmic wizard’s here to sow some magic:
bending more than just four elements’ worth as i scortch this mic
i’ll make your whole cr~p kingdom crumble like my brother’s wack fourth reich
but it won’t take three million years to tell that ralph’s will never fade!
you’d best believe that i’m for real, unlike when elinore betrayed
my sleeve holds quite the nasty trick that’s sure to knock you off your throne
namely: a luger, aimed straight at your heart; eat yours out, indy jones
see, i’m the bigger man, a b~llsy man, a man chock~full of vision!
i’ll put charlie deeper undersea than his film’s competition!
a d~mn brontosaurus’s demise was your high~point of drama;
what are rodent immigrants’ woes against the belinksys’ saga?
[verse 7: don bluth, mrs. brisby, charlie barkin and anastasia]
pfft! cheech here’s got less material than his sl~t girl’s outfit!
hey, here’s an ice pick, donnie; use it! leave him going: “they k!lled fritz”!
relax, my pretties, for my secret comeback weapon’s primed to go;
bakshi, beware: she’ll whoop, ka~pow, hi~yah, and kick your ass, sir!
yo, let’s journey to the past; to russia, early 20th century
where the bolshe~ …i mean rasputin’s slain the royal clan, ‘cept for me!
the avenger of my family and of charlie’s ticket sales
this best princess from any non~mouse house is here, and kicking tail!
a dna test will confirm it: anya’s schtick ain’t no con’s play
i’ll stomp on you until you’re shattered; heartlessly so, like kanye!
i took flight from the communist curse once upon a july, but i’ll steadfastly see through this fight
letting loose haunting words to get your bodies tossing and turning in bed in the dark of the~ (~gunshot, bl~~dy explosion~)

[verse 8: ralph bakshi, fritz the cat and avatar the wizard (fritz and avatar)]
there; we fixed your history! you’re welcome, now; no need for thanks
that movie might as well have told the happy story of anne frank!
what kind of hypocrite would make that, then call out my not being dead?
honestly, why couldn’t you have stuck with sh~tty kiddie schlock instead?
i mean… the pebble and the penguin? truth be told, it made me laugh… a troll in central park? heh, real f~cking intellectual…
lying about the tragic execution of a seventeen~year~old girl? detestable!
to net your biggest profit, you sold out in terms of heart;
rasputin never crossed the romanovs, but you betrayed your art!
now, holli would come out to play if she were needed, but in truth
enough’s been said, so face the facts: you’re our announcer’s husband, bluth!

[outro: the announcer]
who won?
who’s next?
i decide!!!!!
moleman’s epic rap battles!!!!!!!!

- lirik lagu molemanninethousand

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