lirik lagu mike absalom - saga of ernie plugg's bust
sunday morning, the story so far
ma was feeling a bit below par
pa was feeling a bit below ma as well
suddenly mother said
“father dear, get out of that bed
i thought i heard somebody knocking at the bell”
standing in the hall among the potted plants
saw a big detective constable advance
“mr. and mrs. aloysius plugg?
we’ve got your son down in the jug
arrested him on a narcotics charge”
well this story’s tragic and it’s sad
there was a barmaid and her name was glad
let me tell you about the bloke she dug
she worked down at the brace ‘n bit
although she was a brazen bit
she had a man, his name was ernie plugg
with his great big boots and his tartan braces
he liked to beat up freaks and other races
but this night he’d given gladys thrills
brought her plastic daffodils
stolen from the brompton cemetery
now shooter lived up in “the gate”
man, i don’t exaggerate
he overdid all you could overdo
he popped pills, he sniffed glue
tried inhaling harpic too
it nearly sent him round the bend, that’s true
that night he’d been out to score some shit
he was far, far gone when he reached the brace ‘n bit
he wandered in, he stood quite still
cos he saw the plastic daffodils
and he said “oh man, them blossoms turn me on”
well they looked him up, they looked him down
gladys said “oh i like his gown”
and ernie said “well you can have it glad, gladly”
picked up shooter by the hair
and stripped him till he hung there bare
and shooter said “oh man, this strip is bad”
he turned quite green and shuddering with fright
he went and ran out naked in the night
then ernie said “let’s try it first”
he put it on then in there burst
maclagan and the drugs squad through the door
maclagan said “don’t be afraid
it’s just another routine raid
if no one breathes, no one will get hurt
we’ll start with joseph and his coat”
and seizing ernie by the throat
he ripped his pockets out and tore his shirt
then he smiled and said “’ello, ‘ello, ’ello
what’s all this then aspirins i suppose?”
then he tripped him up and kicked his face
saying “sorry to disturb your inner space
what you need my lad is a rest, you’re under arrest”
sunday evening at the pluggs
father blames the curse of drugs
pa is drunk, ma is tranquilized
ernie’s got six months in jail
glad is left to tell the tale
by the plastic daffodils, she cries
father blames the younger generation
“ain’t got no bloody respect or veneration”
sunday evening at the bar
ma is feeling a bit below par
pa is feeling gladys all over now
he’s feeling glad it’s all over now
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