lirik lagu mike absalom - laura the leg
now listen, a terrible story i’ll tell you
will fill you with horror as you lie in your bunk
and when it’s all over, you’ll never believe me
you’ll think i’m a lair or else that i’m drunk
i’ve courted in england, in france and in persia
from lapland to russia, i’ve hunted my game
but ’twas up in the cold frozen forest of sweden
i first met my match, laura leg was her name
by the light in her eye and the lilt in her laughter
i started to chat to that pretty young girl
and when she sat down to her brandy and water
me hopes started rising and that was not all
she invited me back to her flat for the evening
but as we set off, she slipped down on the ice
and her skirts, they flew up and then guess what i saw there
she’d a leg made of wood, such a cunning device
when we got to the door amid some trepidation
i watched her reach under her skirts for the key
and it took her a moment to choose the correct one
cos she’d seventeen slung from a ring in her knee
but later we romped in a bed of soft velvet
till me passions were dead and me vigour run dry
then as she lay snoring, i whipped out me jack~knife
and carved me initials the length of her thigh
but when the cold grey of the morning came creeping
i came to me senses and slowly took stock
and when i looked down, well i saw to me horror
i was riddled with splinters from kidney to knee
knee? yes knee
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