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lirik lagu meatbag & machine - professional hater

[intro]
this one goes out to the ops
you know who you are
you gonna get what’s comin’
i’m manifesting your karma in
3… 2… 1… (eh, yeah)

[verse 1]
i hope your uber driver picks you up 30 minutes late
i hope you have a fancy dinner and you drop your loaded plate
may your pasta be crunchy and always undercooked
and when you’re goin’ outta town, i hope that all hotels are booked

[verse 2]
i hope your spotify only plays billy ray cyrus
you have an ac breaky summer, and you catch the norovirus
i want your phone screen to be cracked, and your laptop hacked
and they go into your account and delete every contact

[chorus]
‘causе i’m a professional hater, it’s what i do best
i want to see you living in a constant statе of stress
certified in spite with a phd in petty
i’m wishing wild things on you, so you better be ready

[verse 3]
i hope your coffee’s always cold and caffeine free
you get stuck in rush hour traffic when you really have to pee
i hope they recast your favorite character in your favorite show
you walkin’ through your house at night and stub your little toe
[verse 4]
i wish you’d get dressed and get to work and realize it’s sat~rday
and your tv remote goes bad and you have no new battery
i hope your sneeze gets stuck and makes your face look dumb
and you bite your cheeks and tongue while you are chewing bubble gum

[verse 5]
i hope you’re going on a date and fart something solid in your pants
i pray you do it all again when she gives you another chance
i’d like to see you get an audit from the irs and owe
and your socks are always wet, and your toilet overflows

[verse 6]
may your microwave always leave your food still cold in the middle
and the outside burns your tongue when you go and take a nibble
i hope you have to keep getting up as soon as you sit down
you wanna hang out with your friends, but ain’t none of them around

[chorus]
’cause i’m a professional hater, it’s what i do best
i want to see you living in a constant state of stress
certified in spite with a phd in petty
i’m wishing wild things on you, so you better be ready
[verse 7]
i hope your charger only works when you are holding it just right
and your wifi keeps going out when you try to relax at night
i hope you wave back to someone who was not waving at you
i hope your waiter says “enjoy your meal”, and you respond “you too”

[verse 8]
you leave your laundry in the wash, and it starts to smell musty
every surface in your house and car gets extremely dusty
i hope your shampoo and conditioner run out at different times
you’re driving somewhere new, look down, and miss your exit sign

[verse 9]
i hope your power goes out before you save your presentation
and the airline loses your luggage when you’re going on vacation
your trash bag rips and spills garbage all inside your kitchen
you sing the clean up song, but no one decides to pitch in

[verse 10]
i hope your stomach growls loud when you’re in a silent room
you don’t realize you’re camera’s on when you join the zoom
your favorite artist reveals their bad political views
and you turn your alarm off instead of hitting the snooze
[final chorus]
’cause i’m a professional hater, i never forgive
i hope it’s mildly awful every day you live
may you never quite cry, but never quite smile
i made passive aggression into a lifestyle

- lirik lagu meatbag machine

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