lirik lagu mayor breslin (obscurest vinyl) - mama's rollin in her gravy
[announcer]
now let’s cook with vincezno riggagotti
[big v riggagotti]
thank you
for those of you who know my background, i am an authentic i~talian who cooks authentic i~talian food constantly
tonight’s dish that i’m gonna present to you is a very special dish that i hold near and dear to my heart
it’s not sauce, it is gravy
it’s mama’s famous gravy, period
never again with the sauce
who the f~ck could think this is not gravy?
sauce is—sauce is for dipping, you f~ckin’ wingnuts
i’ve been eatin’ this for years and believe me, i’d know if this gravy is sauce for dippin’ or if it’s sweet delicious mama’s famous gravy
come on, f~ckin’ sauce, who the f~ck sauce, get the f~ck outta here with the sauce
okay
so you’re gonna need a bunch of ingredients
some i can tell you, some i cannot tell you
because some ingredients are a super duper riggagotti secret
in order to know whatever the super secret ingredients are
you have to be part of the riggagotti dynasty
which all of you are not
okay
so you’re gonna need a bunch of ingredients
some i can tell you, some i cannot tell you
because some ingredients are a super duper riggagotti secret
in order to know whatever the super secret ingredients are
you have to be part of the riggagotti dynasty
which all of you are not
[big v riggagotti and announcer]
the only way to be part of the riggagotti dynasty is to be born into it
so if you are already alive, then you cannot be part of the dynasty
better luck next time
so what’s the secret?
i just told you i cannot tell you all of the secret ingredients
if i told you the secret ingredients
my mama would be rollin’ over in her gravy
and i just cannot have that with my mother
but you seem like a respectful and honorable man
so i can divulge one secret ingredient
oh, wow, yes!
after you mash up your delicious roma tomatoes
you need to let them simmer for about three hours
once they have been properly simmered
now it is time for the super secret ingredient
you’re gonna wanna pull out a fistful of your own chest hair
you’re gonna wanna place it on the table
look for the most curled and moist chest hair
now keep in mind, it has to be glistening or it won’t work
cut that hair into three portions
one goes in, one you save in case somethin’ bad happens, and lastly, take the third portion and give it a little kiss in honor of my mama who died three days ago
so now is the time in the recipe when i have someone give it a taste
so i’m gonna need you to taste~test this and tell the beautiful audience how delicious the gravy truly is
wow, thank you
here you go, here’s a half ladle, open your mouth
uh, uh, eh
wait a minute, you didn’t eat the chest hair, did you?
i think—i think i did
oh, no, no, you’re supposed to take the chest hair out of the gravy
it’s a garnish
what kind of stooge eats another man’s chest hair?
here, wash it down with a full ladle of gravy
there you go, boss
thank you
there you go, get that down, yeah
now tell the audience how delicious it is
and it better be delicious or you’re gonna have more problems than another man’s chest hair caught in your throat
you’re gonna have a lot more chest hairs to worry about if it’s not delicious for you
yeah, it’s—it’s good
good, thank you
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