lirik lagu malcolm king (.mlclm) - window pain
[intro]
i put my hand to the sky, i sing
grateful for the blessings you bring
thank you for the ones i love
forgive me for the times i was
down and confused, i know
what i reap is what i will sow
once again i find myself
back here begging for your mercy
[verse 1]
listened to cole and i knew i had to jot
the pain lived inside me til it rot
i used to be numb now i’m not
i gave everything i’ve got
and it felt like it wasn’t enough
i admit things have been tough
coulda had my hands in cuffs
but can’t go to jail for k!lling myself can i
i woulda went straight to h-ll i know i
haven’t always felt deserving of your love and grace
ran my own race without the g from god
but i can’t be a g to my gs without you
i tried for too long without you
had to get my ish right
i lived long enough to see ish change
i’m 19 and i barely aged
but i changed a lot since 2 years ago
i was ready to let it all go
then god said “don’t go”
i found happiness and i couldn’t stop smiling again
i became a younger version of me again
optimistic but not naïve
i got no one to deceive
those that care about me know how i’m living
my girl knows when i’m fake smiling
only person that ever saw me crying
my tears fall down and she wipe them
not always with her hand sometimes with a smile
i watch her sleeping and i wanna cry
what did i do to deserve her? i don’t know
didn’t think she’d ever say she loved me
when she said it something moved inside me
it all went away
[hook]
it will all be okay
i pray to god even more now
i threw all my pain out the window now
i don’t feel it no more it’s all gone now
[verse 2]
i still sometimes check her back for wings
i still don’t know how there’s no halo above her head
she an angel and she heaven sent
i still hate how much i hurt her though
everything i put you through this year alone
fighting my demons instead of k!lling them
i provoked yours and made you cry
i’m sorry but if you cry you know i’mma cry
i love you to death and that’s no lie
i will love you forever even when i’m too old to know why
i sometimes wonder how you put up with me
its hard to do and i can’t even do it
the pressure is on you and you feel it
you’re trying please god and he recognizes it
don’t ever feel like you ain’t enough
i’m sorry if i ever made you feel like kissing just your lips ain’t enough
i’m sorry if i ever made you think hugging you ain’t enough
you’re everything i prayed for and more
i’m not worth it i’ve been told by not one person, many more
i ain’t feel it for nothing though
i’m sorry thembi i hope soon you’ll feel okay though
all the hurt you feel will go
pain demands to be felt but you’re much stronger
everything that hurt you died, means you were stronger
the scars are just a reminder you a warrior
i don’t let go of the memories to avoid living them as realities again
i still see thembi broken and wanting nothing to do with me
that imagine is there vividly to always stop me
don’t wanna go too far and not reach the end goal
marry you, spend forever and a day with you
when god will say yes i’ll be ready too
i hope one day you’ll feel what i feel too
ahead of my time i’ve always known hip hop wouldn’t always be bout how you rhyme
i speak the truth i hope i don’t get crucified
i’m a king, i’m no god, and i don’t deserve the same death
but i know i serve a living god, he rose and ascended
and i remembered how i always believed it
so from now on i’mma always read the bible
keep my soul pure and the pain out
see it through the window it’s lonely
misery loves company but that won’t be me
prayed to god and he made it all okay
[hook]
it will all be okay
i pray to god even more now
i threw all my pain out the window now
i don’t feel it no more it’s all gone now
[outro]
i put my hand to the sky, i sang
was grateful for the blessings you brought
thanked you for the ones i love
you forgave me for the times i was
down and confused, i know
what i reaped is what i sowed
i always found myself
back there begging for your mercy
and you saved me
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