lirik lagu creature feature – such horrible things
sit back now, let me tell you a tale
where justice does not prevail
about an ill-fated life, so very full of strife
where two wrongs do not make a right
so
when i was born
i did surely scorn
my proud parents name
then their lives went down the drain
drove them insane
my birth was a curse
i bit the nurse
oh, but i love the worst
i deserve to be slowly submersed
dried out then laid in a he-rs-
when i was two
i poured super glue
into my fathers hair
as he sat unaware
in his arm chair
much to his dismay
had to cut it all away
oh, but it felt great
i deserve to be cut and filleted
then tossed about in disarray
until the pieces melt away
i am not a bad man
even though i do bad things
very bad things
such horrible things
but it’s not quite what it seems
–not quite what he seems–
not quite what i seem
ah, h-ll
it’s exactly what it seems
when i was four
i’d wait by the door
with a knife in my hand
and a most devious plan
it would be quite grand
as the mail fell through the slot
the sharp edge he got
oh, but i like the thought
i deserve to be tied in a knot
broken bones and blood clots
when i was six
i used to trick
the next door neighbors son
in the woods we would run
time for fun
hide and seek has a cost
he would be forever lost
oh, but i love to scoff
i deveserve to have my head lopped off
hidden and covered in moss
until this memory’s forgot
i am not a bad man
even though i do bad things
very bad things
such horrible things
but it’s not quite what it seems
–not quite what he seems–
not quite what i seem
ah, h-ll
it’s exactly what it seems
when i was eight
i used to hate
the color of my house
so as quite as a mouse
i burned it down
to the ground
when no one was around
oh, but i love the sound
i deserve to be quickly put down
rotting six feet underground
when i was ten
i used to pretend
to drown in the sea
till they come and rescue me
then preceed
to laugh in their face
such a disgrace
oh, but i love the taste
i deserve to have my brains displaced
all over the fireplace
until this life has been erased
i am not a bad man
even though i do bad things
very bad things
such horrible things
but it’s not quite what it seems
–not quite what he seems–
not quite what i seem
ah, h-ll
it’s exactly what it seems
when i was twelve
i used to delve
into evil schemes
just to illicit screams
boost my self esteem
pushed my sister down a well
she just fell
oh, but i love to dwell
i deserve to the roast deep down in h-ll
when no one can hear me yell
when i was fourteen
nothing much happened
well, there was that one time
i am not a bad man
even though i do bad things
very bad things
such horrible things
but it’s not quite what it seems
–not quite what he seems–
not quite what i seem
ah, h-ll
it’s exactly what it seems
when i was sixteen
life was frightening
my brother was quiet dull
so with laughter in my skull
pushed him in a hole
then buried him alive
he barely survived
oh, but i love the cries
i deserve to be battered and fried
in an electric chair that’s set on high
now that i’m eighteen
i still hate things
from this padded cell i call my home
no friends, no phone
no life to call my own
here i will lie
until the very day i die
until my blood begins to dry
and i return to the darkness from whence i came
so
i am not a bad man
even though i do bad things
very bad things
such horrible things
but it’s not quite what it seems
not quite what i seem
ah, h-ll
i’m exactly what i seem
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