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lirik lagu lxchy - little man

[intro]
(before live, laugh, lxchy)

[verse 1]
i woke up wrong again
same skin, worse weather
mouth full of old apologies
i couldn’t keep together
the sun came through the blinds
like it was wanting to accuse me
like gold on the floor
like god spilled something useless
and that was me
i don’t cry right
i just leak out in pieces
stare at the wall
till the wall starts breathing
my name sounds fake
when somebody say it
my face in the mirror
looks legally present
f~ck
i don’t wanna live
i don’t wanna diе
i just wanna stop being awake inside
i don’t want hеlp
i don’t want harm
i just want the world
to loosen its arm on me
rot with the light on
sleep with my shoes on
heart like a dead phone
still buzzing for too long
there’s mould in my thoughts
there’s dust in my chest
there’s a little boy in me
playing dead for respect
he learned not to scream
when the room got violent
now he mistakes peace
for another kind of silence
i carry my past
like a dog in a bag
too heavy to hold
too loved to drag
every good memory
got t~~th underneath it
every warm hand
has a reason to leave it
i hate when the sky
looks beautiful still
like it don’t know
what i almost feel
[verse 2]
like the flowers didn’t get
the emergency call
like the world keeps turning
just to make me feel small
i’m not a person
i’m a room after yelling
i’m the smell in the carpet
n0body is smelling
i’m a birthday cake
left out in the rain
i’m a dog at a grave
that forgot the name
i’m in the last little light
in a vending machine
where the snacks should be
i’m “are you alright?”
getting stuck in my throat
i’m the answer i give
so they leave me alone
and death don’t scare me
that scares me the most
it sits at my table
and eats my toast

it doesn’t speak
it doesn’t threaten
doesn’t beg me to go
just watches me breathe
like it already knows
[bridge]
mum, i’m sorry
love, i’m sorry
little me
i’m sorry most
i let the dark in
thinking it was shelter
now it wears my clothes
i made a home
out of not being wanted
made a god
out of giving up
and still i keep waking

[refrain]
little me, i’m sorry
i left you in the hallway
hands full of drawings
heart full of always
you thought i’d grow up
and build us a door
some clean little house
where the shouting was cured
but i grew into smoke
i grew up into hiding
grew up into t~~th
with no strength left for biting
you were so small
with your hope in your pocket
folded up neat
like a note in a locket
you kept it for me
you kept it alive
and i spent it on silence
just trying to survive
[verse 3]
i’m sorry, little man
i let the world win
i boarded up the windows
and called it skin
i’m sorry i made
your dreams feel dumb
i’m sorry i taught you
that love means run
i see you sometimes
in the back of my face
standing there barefoot
in the ruined place
you don’t even hate me
that’s what makes it worse
you just look disappointed
like a prayer in reverse
you ask, “did we make it?”
i lie through my breath
i say, “yeah, we got older
that’s close enough, i guess.”
we didn’t get free
we didn’t~ choose it quieter
we didn’t find peace
we just named the fire “tired.”
and i’m sorry for that
for the songs i never sang you
for the nights i let strangers
inside me and blamed you
for every time i looked in the mirror
and cursed your reflection
like you were the wound
and not the infection
little me, come here
no, closer than that
i know i smell like smoke
and i talk like a trap
i know i made a religion
out of being alone
i know i turned our body
into somebody’s old home

and you are not ugly
you are not weak
you are not the reason
the floor learned to creak

you were just a child
with the lights going out
asking for love
with no language for how
i’m sorry i gave up
and
im sorry im being realistic
sorry i made pain
i kind of make that sh~t sound artistic

[outro]
(i’m sorry
i’m sorry
lxchy)

- lirik lagu lxchy

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