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lirik lagu lsp1 - half ok, half not

[verse 1]
everytime i try to rap, it comes out damaged
dear lord, i got questions and i need answers
trying to understand your vision on my life but all i’m seeing is damage
maybe i can pick up a pen and rap about all the pain in my life
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
i can’t talk about anything or it will be causing some pain
i can’t write about the time that my mother had a baby
coming, and then it died
i lost a little brother

well, now i’ve got a little mother who thinks it’s her fault
it’s never your fault, even if you’re in a cult
you may be doing your life away, but you’re doing it for a reason
no, it’s never just for a reason
it’s just for a treason
this season, we have lost so much people to death
i can’t think of all the bad things in my mind
i’m an ~rs~hole for not going to your funeral
maybe now, i’ll just have to tie a rope around my neck and jump it ’til it pulls me to death

[chorus]
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
i got these scars and pain
my life has gone down the drain
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
it’s a c~nt of a life
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
i got these scars and pain
my life has gone down the drain
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
it’s a c~nt of a life
(maybe i’ll find a way to avoid all the pain)
[verse 2]
i’ve lost a little brother
but i also gained another
just for him to die before i got to meet ‘im
i’m always rappin’ ’bout the sh~t that doesn’t affect me
and i’ll take a seat, let me tell you the story of how my rapping came to be
i was bullied, belted, tormented
and picked on at school
until i turned to rap just to feel safe
and now, i don’t care if i can never find a date
because rap is enough for me
i’ll show you why i am lsp1
it’s because i’m not ok, and in the end, it doesn’t even matter
those were the words of chester bennington years before his death
i looked him in the eyes, and now, i can’t take anything back

[chorus]
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
i got these scars and pain
my life has gone down the drain
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
it’s a c~nt of a life

[verse 3]
i watched all my idols die right in front of my eyes
it’s surprising i’m not gonna be next to die
i can’t get anything right
no wonder why people call me a mumble rapper
no wonder why people call me a f~ckin’ clapper
i don’t think you know what the sh~t i go through
behind the scenes, my dad and step brother would f~ckin’ torment me
poke fun at me, just because i wanted to rap
i just wanna put my town on the map
sit my future kids and my wife on my laps
but now, i can’t do that ever again, now, thanks to you guys
and it’s always gonna be your fault
maybe i can find a way to avoid all the pain

[chorus]
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
i got these scars and pain
my life has gone down the drain
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
it’s a c~nt of a life

[verse 4]
i’m living in an episode of my life that i’m forgetting to close
i just wanna be able to rest without people judging me for being a
13~year~old rapper who wants to rap
i don’t wanna have to diss a clapper
but i had to end you like a turkish person ends turkish delight
my brother is like an executioner
that’s not a diss, i just wanted to miss and now
how about i kiss this rap scene goodnight?

and now it goes without saying, this is my last recording
’cause if you’re hearing this now, it means i must’ve done it
first off, i really need to tell you just how much i’m sorry
i know the news of my death is gruesome and hard to stomach
i’m sorry too, for those who end up in the bathroom
scrubbin’ up the mess, i guess i was clumsy
the sh~t was far too bl~~dy
plus, the blade, it was blunt and it couldn’t cut in properly
i was such in a hurry, as close, i can’t out run it
i’m not gonna be able to help you when you need me
i just wanna be able to live life
without being hated all the time, i just wanna love life
and now i’m gonna charge at the world to save myself
and if i can’t, then i’m not ok

[chorus]
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
i got these scars and pain
my life has gone down the drain
i’m half ok, but i’m also half not
(it’s a c~nt of a life)

[verse 5]
i’m never gonna be able to let go of anything
ever since i was a kid i’ve felt felt this way
the black sheep, i can never rid myself of any hate
some say it’s a mental disease
well, i just pray that i can make it to the end of the week
it’s like i only find happiness when dead or asleep
maybe in time, it’ll get better for me
but it forever repeats
it’s like i’m on a search to find my inner peace
and the fact, i know it’s never there, it’s k!llin’ me

and now, i know i’m gonna have to fight to survive
but i’m not ever gonna believe you
i may be half ok, half not, but i’m 100% there for you

- lirik lagu lsp1

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