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lirik lagu kxllinme - ribcage rewind / body check (skit)

verse 1

the thoughts in my head never shut up
static crowdin’ the hallways, sh~t never lets up
even as a kid i swore i was defective
soul wired backwards, emotions too excessive

hands shakin’, breath hitchin’—used smoke as a brace
tryna calm the quake underneath my face
people say “grow up,” yeah, that line got old
but trauma don’t age—it just hardens and folds

i moved to iowa thinkin’ maybe the sky was medicine
like cornfields could clеar the h~ll i’d been wrestlin’
but you can’t outrun a cursе that lives in your ribs—
new city, same ghost whispering ad~libs

i replay that day like it’s stuck on vhs
if i’d called… if i stayed… if i slept in instead
but life don’t rewind, it just loops the ache
and after a while, the numb feels easy to fake

hook (cold, resigned)

i ain’t ask for the lesson, but d~mn i learned it quick
some love leaves stains you can’t scrub with time
i ain’t want the heartbreak, but f~ck it—it stuck
and the cold in my chest?
yeah… that’s the iowa kind
verse 2

and no, i don’t want you back—don’t get that sh~t twisted
most days i hate your name, but hate’s just love that blistered
leftover affection rotted into rust
ain’t romance—it’s residue, clingin’ to dust

it made me colder, sharper, taught me how to hide
turned cash from a whisper to a shadow with pride
sometimes i swear he was born in that drop
the moment you broke me like it was part of the plot

you flipped the script clean, made me the villain
told folks i hurt you just for feelin’ like a man—
but how the f~ck am i “a man” in your story
when you never let me be a kid to begin with?

had me shrinkin’ myself just to fit your decor
policin’ my mannerisms ’cause you ain’t seen ’em before
you’d throw that gay sh~t at me like a weapon you sharpened
then climbed in my bed like the irony wasn’t awkward

you wanted a version of me that was easy to swallow
but kept me tiny enough to mold and hollow
and that’s what i hate you for—
not walkin’ away…
but never lettin’ me exist as the whole d~mn me
hook

i ain’t ask for the heartbreak, but i learned the script:
some love ain’t love—it’s a leash in disguise
and the pieces i lost in that cold~ass state
still breathe in the mirror
behind my eyes

verse 3

i try to be good now
tryna be somebody worth followin’
’cause i know what it’s like bein’ lost with no modelin’
i teach kids to breathe through the sh~t that i drowned in
try to be the home i never found when i landed

but truth is… i ain’t felt “home” since birth—
been driftin’ through bodies, states, and self~worth
i chased love like a cure
found poison instead
found silence where comfort should’ve been fed

you weren’t the first hurt, but you carved the frame
shaped how i love through guilt and blame
turned my future into caution tape in my chest
made every woman after compete with your ghost’s silhouette
and i wish i hated you clean—
but trauma don’t wash right
it lingers
it stains
and it still f~cks with my nights

but here’s the truth i bury in my breath:
you didn’t break me—
you just caught me already cracked

all you did was widen the gap
where cash phayde crawled out of the wreck
i didn’t survive you
i outgrew you
and that’s the part
you’d never understand

pt 2

body check

therapist:
before we keep going
check in with your body

cash:
…

therapist:
don’t explain it
just notice it

therapist:
where do you feel it?

cash:
chest

therapist:
is it tight…
or hollow?

cash:
both

therapist:
noted

therapist:
you don’t have to fix it
you don’t have to understand it

therapist:
just stay with the sensation
for a few seconds

(pause)

therapist:
we’ll stop
vibe

- lirik lagu kxllinme

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