lirik lagu kunt and the gang - the ballad of captain tom (demo)
life in lockdown, it was grim, it was glum
days became weeks, it was bleak, i felt numb
the light it grew dim on the slippery slope
then an old man appeared like a beacon of hope
(you’re gonna tell us what he did then?
…yeah)
he walked ’round his garden
raised a tidy amount for the nhs
he got a twitter account
he was painted on murals to the public’s delight
he met the queen as she made him a knight
(what, a sir?
…yeah)
captain tom, captain tom
you looked frail, but was strong
a hundred years old, your life was quite long
with michael b~llb~g you had a hit song
you’ll never walk alone, sir captain tom
his family who appeared by his side
realised he was still not quite satisfied
so they complied captain tom’s bucket list
of a barbados holiday it did consist
(“oh i bet captain tom enjoyed that!”
“…hmm!”)
captain tom, captain tom
you were here, now you’re gone
on a plane to barbados
does that seem a bit wrong?
in a global pandemic, your hangers on
are off on vacation with sir captain tom
his next trip was to a hospital bed
pneumonia, then covid
six weeks he was dead
tributes poured in, we mourned as a nation
his family started a charitable foundation
(“oh, well that sounds like a fitting tribute”
“…hmmm!”)
the good will tom fostered meant people donated
but the venture transpired to be somewhat ill~fated
captain tom’s family used tom for a shield
and since he had died, had their hands in the till
(“no, they didn’t, did they?!?”
“…yeah”)
captain tom’s family, captain tom’s family
had a strange way of caring for their elderly
then they siphoned off money from his charity
those slippery swindlers, captain tom’s family
but don’t it make you wonder
what if tom was at it too?
filling up his biscuit tin with cash from me and you
did he have a history of nefarious deeds?
like doing an arthur fowler with the poppy proceeds
(“of course he didn’t! that’s like accusing marcus rashford of pocketing the dinner money!”)
but captain tom’s family, captain tom’s family
have their shady dealings tainted tom’s legacy?
will he be remembered now like ladbaby?
thanks to those slippery swindlers, captain tom’s family
those murdering grifters, captain tom’s family
(“what a bunch of rotters!”)
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