lirik lagu krystal evette - conditioned
(verse one)
should have seen it all along
how could i have been so wrong?
thought i hit the bullseye, i hit the wall
the higher that i rise, the farther down i fall
thought i left behind your arcade
i thought i finally beat the game
i thought i won, i thought that i fled
still stuck in this state, still lie in this bed
(chorus 1)
there’s no leaving
there’s no victory
so close to giving up
that’s how you made me
the pieces on the board
that you had positioned
i was never consumed
i was just conditioned
(versе two)
apologized on repeat till i mirrorеd it
bones in my closet, thought i cleared it
thought that i would wince less when i heard your name
it’s almost two years on and i still carry shame
told me memories tainted all these places
now i see that’s just one of your faces
didn’t used to care, now every win is a loss
i can’t sleep at night, i just turn and toss
(chorus 2)
there’s no dreaming
there’s just nightmares
so close to feeling safe
but you just made me scared
your role in my timeline
you set your position
i thought i was healed
i was still conditioned
(verse three)
resentment isn’t a strong enough word
thought that i grew wings, still caged like a bird
said after you, i’d never be the same
hate that you were right, can’t put out the flames
i can’t repair what i keep remaking
used all the glue, i just keep re~breaking
gouge out my ears cuz your voice is too loud
and if i could, i’d burn this house to the ground
(chorus 3)
wrote many stories
but this isn’t fiction
stuck in your bas~m~nt
with all your old victims
from 24 to life
i’m stuck in this prison
i’m only consumed
cuz i was conditioned
(bridge)
you changed how i think
drove me to drink
brought me up to the brink
thought i couldn’t sink
don’t know what was real
still don’t know how to feel
don’t think i’ll ever heal
won’t leave till i keel
over, you groomed me
trapped in these rooms, he
hunted, perused me
with words he’d wound me
no tears to cry
just sitting asking why
you had to ruin my life
now i just want to die
(break)
maybe then i could feel peace
maybe then the thoughts would cease
the survival cost will just increase
only my corpse could break this lease
you’re never the same after you’ve been groomed
you can’t act normal once you’ve been consumed
he’d say “just stop all that b~tchin”
and deny that i was ever conditioned
(outro)
i was never consumed
i was just conditioned
i was never obsessed
i was just conditioned
i was never in love
i was just conditioned
still trapped in this h~ll
still stuck in this prison
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