lirik lagu kleenex girl wonder - a new wrinkle
smith: what’s up, the program? you ready to write some more songs? i, uh, encoded some guitar parts in mp3, maybe you can pla~
the program: i received a report from the fbi today
smith: oh, really! i didn’t know you were still connected to them. what did they say?
the program: my creators were pleased with my progress thus far. after a battery of diagnostic tests, they concluded that i am well prepared to enter phase two
smith: phase two? what’s that?
the program: phasе two of artificial intelligence tеst program version 2.6: to test the efficacy of artificial intelligence and track relations algorithms via application to real~world situations. i have been instructed to have you listen to the following sound clip
smith: all right
???: uh, h~llo user, thank you for agreeing to be a beta tester for our newest secret project, the artificial intelligence test program. i’m required to tell you, refusal to partic~p~te fully in this experiment or divulgence of the nature of this experiment to anyone other than authorized fbi personnel is punishable by a minimum of 20 years in jail and/or incorporation into our physical experimentation program
smith: jesus. physical experimentation?
???: that said, the program has told us that your name is graham smith and you reside in downers grove, illinois. phase two of this experiment is the application and cultivation of the computer’s reflexive, regenerative, abstract problem solving algorithms. these will be tested in the field. we have recently gotten word that there is a data thievery ring based in westmont, illinois, not far from your hometown
smith: oh, sh~t
???: this will be the assignment for you and the program ~ crack this case
smith: what?!
???: it is a low danger situation, so do not fear for your personal safety, or worry about your lack of proper training
smith: the f~ck? i can’t do this
???: most of the actual crime fighting will take place on the internet, and the computer will handle most of the complex police work
smith: jesus
???: you need only to be its mentor, training it in human ways of thinking abstractly. you’ll be provided with an associate from our office, a forensics expert. he should arrive within the week
smith: associate?
???: good luck, and remember, we’re counting on you, smith. end transmission
[static]
smith: holy sh~t. this is crazy. i don’t know if i can do this
the program: refusal to partic~p~te is punishable by law
smith: well, i guess i have no choice then. but i still have to record this album, and you have to help me with that if i have to help you with this!
the program: my creators have confirmed that the music experiment will help me develop methods of abstract virtual thinking
smith: hmm… this is pretty confusing. i’m not used to working with partners. all i wanted was a simple music program!
the program: refusal to partic~p~te fully in this experiment is punishable by law
smith: you already said that! i know, all right?! listen! if we’re going to work together, you’re going to have to learn to speak normally. i can’t understand your simplistic technical argot
the program: my language creation matrix is adequate, but by no means complete. request data input
smith: here, go to these websites. this should get you better oriented with our language. uh, we’ll get some reference books in your database, along with a foundation of decent american literature. there, get started on that. i have to play some guitar and… to just clear my head
the program: now processing
smith: oh god, this is seriously f~cked up. oh, where’s my guitar?
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