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lirik lagu killcore - does it mean anything

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[verse]

i try, i try, i try
to despise myself too hard
to the point where i’m in pain
and i’m damaging my brain
and i’m overthinking how i’ll never change
what if i can’t be your man after tomorrow
will you think of me with sorrow
or will you think of me with joy
will you reminisce in grief
was me leaving a relief
i can’t come back to

[bridge]

does it really even mean a thing
if i could walk away
i don’t think we’re meant to be
you’re toxic and perplexing me

[verse]

i try, i try, i try
to despise myself too hard
to the point where i’m in pain
and i’m damaging my brain
and i’m overthinking how i’ll nеver change


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