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lirik lagu kiddglokk - i tried

you lied to my face
you lied to my heart
you lied all the time
and it tore me apart

my self-care was shrinking
tears pouring out my eyes
and when you left me
there was nothing left inside
your fists were tightening
facial expression frightening
footsteps like thunder
and your words like lightning
my heart was broken
i didn’t know what to do
all that was left for me
was to crawl back to you

my life was going by
it left me feeling confused
was it tough love
or was i being used
even if it was love
it felt so abused
mistaken, mistreated
and most definitely misused

i tried to make you happy
while i felt all alone
i tried to call you
but you won’t pick up the phone
i tried to stay sane
and ignore what was going on
i tried to love you
but you put me in that zone-

where my life is crumbling
i need help
i’m struggling
while i try to walk
my legs are stumbling
the knife to my wrist
thinking that i’m done with this
listening to all of your cr-p
saying that you love me
all those “kind” words
i knew that they were fake
you were saying them to me
but for your own sake

i tried to make you happy
while i felt all alone
i tried to call you
but you wouldn’t pick up the phone
i tried to stay sane
and ignore what was going on
i tried to love you
but you put me in that zone-

no matter how much you swore
i ain’t opening that door
i kept thinking you would change
but you’d only damage me more…

i’ve been sitting here thinking that you’d love me more
thinking maybe my decision was poor
waiting for you to walk inside that door
i look at the time and just about four
trying to believe that you were just at the store
thought it was a dream but of course there was more
i ain’t one to bring up the past but
you left me feeling dead, got me feeling star-struck
i don’t know what to do
guess i’m really out of luck

now the side you never got to see
six weeks
no sleep
all i heard was my heartbeat
on a pulse machine
my eyes start to open, and i see my family
i look left and i see you staring right back at me

a minute felt like an hour
an hour felt like a day
dear god
i don’t know what to do, or what i should say
but i’m on knees and i pray
“dear god, forgive me, please give me this day
my family needs me to stay
five more minutes please
then you can take my life away”
tomorrow is another day
but is not promised
it’s no secret
from your grace i’ve fallen
and i’ve hit the bottom-
“what was that?-
g-pa calling?”
tell me about when you served in vietnam
was it hard?
are you scarred?

i’ve been through the worst
i swear my mom and i are cursed
fifteen long years of hurt
i don’t have a dad, he left me in the dirt
he wasn’t even there for my birth
for whatever it’s worth
i hope you’re hearing this now
but i hope you go to h-ll and burn
and when you do, i’ll take the urn
and place it six feet in the ground
so the demon won’t be found

a message to my siblings
please know that i am searching for you
just know that i’ve only met a few
and if you get this message
just know you’re a blessing
and always power through the wreckage
hit my line or hit me back
just know that…
you’re always welcome back…

last but not least
a message to my father
i hope you never prosper
you’ll never fix what you’ve broken
so don’t even bother
now my word is spoken
the bond me and my mother have
will always remain unbroken

- lirik lagu kiddglokk

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