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lirik lagu kidcarus - strength of claims

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it was first spoken from a perch
a term discerned by those with courage
words with weight and meaning that set you reeling
acceptance, a feeling left for those with steely nerves
but what really hurts is that they’ve stuck with you
like a pin, destiny unreeling, sticking to your skin
a perfect fit, a match for your half left concealed

emotions left buried, lept from the tongues of strangers
shocked by the sudden rays of light, like a knife to throat
you’ve always thought these thoughts an awful lot
ingrained away with the samе frame of mind to push afraid
twice beforе in the past, they’ve come to crash and roost
but fear is great, and to delay and run to shade is the way
to remain unfazed, unburned, unscathed, consumed, not you

the strength of claims enough to break your brain
under the weight and strain, afraid to relay
those mighty terms
stuck with an almighty curse to deny you worth
or happiness, it feels like half of this
life is out of reach, denied the right to peace
by a sign at birth, biology spurred forth to try to force
you to resign to a life and work to find your hurt

but you didn’t search for it, in fact you ran
and as the span of time cleared the field it clawed advancing
until it found you all the same
a surprise attack, your mind was racked
so bit by bit it filled the niche, scratched the itch
acceptance as a lethal weapon
deceit it seemed, doubt to kept you from second~guessing
but it felt so real, so right, delight from nights spent
in research, peeling through sources a force of might
that contorts you from what you’re sure to find is your course of life

sitting open headed, drafty attic from the ghost we let in
i’d rather languish, in fact, the statement detains the angle
i’m made to tackle, it’s my own experience how hard is it to
pick the fruit from limb and go to market
apple pail upturned, caked in mud the air
is fat with the of singing birds and of blooming flesh
the sun is soon to set, a single fruit bruised from
too much pressure marks a spoiled bunch
i’m losing my lunch, a young tree, plentiful and weighed
heavy with gifts to bear sits atop its plot of rotting flesh
set apart from the orchard by a wayward seed made to watch its kin display their glee as children run among their leaves and pluck their labor and let them breathe

except not me

because despite the interest, despite the effort
despite the effervescent desire to leap from my skin and wholeheartedly rush headlong into that new beginning, i stand firm, tall, stoic in my anguish. an oak hopelessly baren
spoken to rarely, by choice, and voice may disrupt the groaning
of growing, the knowing and hoping
the knowledge and probing deep into the fascets of my mind
a vain attempt to find a source and explain, gain permission in suffering, to join that world and leave my plot

i need these thoughts


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