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lirik lagu kayo dot - automatic writing

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[0.]
i gathered a bouquet of roses that you will never see
a handful of th~rns to be my bed
forever beside your well~tended grave
a monument built in your remembrance
and to the remembrance of me
swept and kept free of cobwebs and weeds
maintained as my decades washed out to the sea
many years longer than i ever wanted
to be the s~xton at your bеdside
i remembеr our last conversation still
even as the years weigh down and crush me
the sound of your voice still haunts me
sweet and broken whispers while i lie drowning
and a photograph, faded, like the
distance between memories and planets
slowly pulled apart and forgotten
but it is all that i have
i keep it in a golden box and bear it before me
the ark of lives forfeit
the law is of sadness and sacredness
and it will k!ll those who would profane it
the dunes of the desert wept tears of sand
as the stars outstretched swirled overhead
i crossed the waste and the glittering
to come to the edge of the sparkling divinity
i fought with the demon of dispersion
choronzon, whose number is half of infinity
and i found you there on the other side
your smile, swathed in fine linen
and kept in the charred hope chest of my heart
in an abandoned house by the side of the highway
[00.]
oblivion turns a basilisk eye toward me
and i smile for the first time since you
were drawn into saturninity
but i keep a candle in the window lit
no matter the year, no matter the season
i light a candle in everlasting vigil
by the back door, in sight of
the forest where you used to wander
do you remember? the paths and the stream?
the willows and stones and moss~covered floor?
if you, wandering shade, cold and lonely
wandering still through the trees
through the mist and the pine and the boughs and the leaves
ever find your way back home
i am here waiting, follow the light back to me
with a pad and a pencil i write down my thoughts
tumbling out like the stream in the forest
pages upon pages on the long life of despair
a scripture recorded by the light of the candle
automatic writing by a body
that outlived its life

[000.]
on the last day of my own, as i
lay awaiting and alone (even my angel has forsaken me)
eloi, eloi, lama sabacthani
and listening to the sounds i would never hear again
looking out the window at the moon and the sky
and the stars that ushered me into eternity
i heard the sound of water from somewhere
flowing from somewhere inside and around me
i am the source and i flow out to the sea
many decades long
of a life spent in mourning
a preparation for death, an expectation unsurpassed
you are the oceans, the brine of my tears
the grail, my angel, my seasons and years
all withered now, and covered in moss
like the stones in the forest outside of the house
i see where the rivers converge
four rivers that flow from the center of eden
i write it all down with my pad and my pencil
the candle fl!ckers with disturbance of air…
i am the wetness upon cold floors…
i am the ossuary nocturnal…
ghosts haunt shadows that refuse the sun in its setting
they wander in the night and are lost
i never knew a love like yours existed, nor such a love so deep
and i will keep your memory alive forever
a monument built in your remembrance
and to the
remembrance of me


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