lirik lagu jvst rebel - a cruel angel's thesis
lost alotta love on this road
pride got in the way
now i’ve noone to go to
put so many years in
but none of it shows
if i get the chance
i’m scared that i’m gonna choke too
lost my accolades and credibility
lost faith from my peers
i feel my wrath has no validity
the shadows in my mind are calling
just to rip into me
everywhere i f~cking turn
somebody wants to get rid of me
you know what, f~ck it
imma fight until i kick the bucket
since i’m living like i never knew what luck is
always fell short of expectations
heard em shaming in private
that’s what life is
i don’t care for the judgement
you left mе in the dust
when you said you wouldn’t
outlined all of my flaws
and things you said i shouldn’t
whеn it came time to listen
know you really couldn’t
cause if you wasn’t the subject
you’d turn tail and book it
wasted my time tryna envy my peers
start l~sting for money, and sh~t became clear
greed was the problem, that sh~t made em fierce
couldn’t let noone eat cause you gluttons would fleer
my path, i had veered from, that’s why i feel lost
worked to the bone cause i ain’t like these sloths
gave up my life to my shorty and work
just to show up my opps at no matter the cost
i been through all types of pain
from abuse and abandonment
i am to blame
for the bonds i found famine in
i get reminded each day
i’m a burden
this is the price that i pay
that’s for certain
lost in my mind and i’m losing all focus
i can’t even grind cause my passion on frozen
gone, is my drive, i don’t even have motive
been dying inside and this leash is my token
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grew up as a christian
but i don’t care for the father
cause the word of god estranged me
and my real on couldn’t bother
to this day i’m still convinced
that if i speak up, i’ll be martyred
kinda hard to have some honor
when they treat you like you’re fodder
cause i’m just a means to an end
never mattered what the cost
even if mental descends
they put it in my head
that all my worth just depends
on what i solely do for others
if i can’t, well then, that’s the end
but…
this is the last thing i needed
gaslighting the trauma that still is untreated
you tell me to run when i’m feeling defeated
berate me for staying when not what you heeded
i could be a god
you won’t be satisfied
so f~ck you, yo wants and needs
and all that gratifies
you told me grow up
well i did, and i ain’t had to lie
or make somebody feel like
they just had to die
n~gga that’s real
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