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lirik lagu jswiss - the half

three jobs just to get myself outta debt
same time thinking this my best year yet
fulfill my parents dreams that they ain’t see for themselves
recognize the patterns that i know so well
and not repeat never been to a therapist i had beats
never been fired from jobs i had heat
nine years alone and dropped five albums
loneliness i’ll accept as divine outcome
people who i barely know say that i’m proud of
you, beautiful truth but you don’t know the half

came off tour on a high note back to the grind
and inspired to write down what i got on my mind
about to record put my phone on airplane mode
my mom call first the only exception h~llo
gotta be kidding in the worst way
cuz died six years older the same birthday
f’d up hung up and cried the same bornday the same family tree
a different situation yo it could’ve been me
talented in everything how come we didn’t collab
as i listen to demos sent by your dad
learning more than i ever knew from strangers i never knew
i thought you were getting better they say were ready to
be done with the suffering and be with your mom again
solace in that we expressed love when we had the chance
remind me of my godmother wonder if she’s still alive
did all that i could to check in even my momma tried
knowing what she is and isn’t in my godmother’s eyes
kinda how my friend drifting, by a thread gripping
over complicating or avoiding the admission
much is being tested much is given
man, you don’t know the half
i’m all about authentic still i’m scared to be open
i give em just enough to hope they don’t even notice
grief could last forever only cry in the moment
even when i tell myself i don’t need to hold it
and i know being vulnerable is me at my strongest
she tell me i look better with my heart on my sleeve
emotional intelligence don’t come with degrees
born an only child time alone is a breeze
another goal to stay productive and that’s all that i need
another show or song make sure that’s all they see
i think, i’m trying self~diagnosis
my newest flex is not to isolate when at my lowest
reaching out for help and for a guide when i don’t know it
my grandmother passed and had the tears overflowing day one
since then i can always keep ‘em dry
even at the funeral and got me asking why
if i said i never felt a sense of guilt that’s a lie
will it all hit me when i least expect it down the line
i could never really know

- lirik lagu jswiss

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