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lirik lagu jr the 3rd - citizen kane

[intro]
citizen kane is the story of a man
a man who at first seems easy to understand
a man who you think was given an easy hand, heh
it’s deeper than that, listen close if you can…

[verse 1]
the first time i sat down and wrote a rhyme
it was night but my mind still proceeded to shine
a young man with a lot of potential
influenced though to be somebody influential
like every other kid wanted to be like mike
i wanted to be on stage ripping mics all night
cause i wanted to be like nas, i wanted to be like em
b.i.g., wu, pac, hov, all of them
this was the start of something new, and i knew
it’s important to stay true to you, and i do
that first year in private i would work on my flows
an infinite amount of roads which way will i go, oh

[bridge 1]
that brought something new out of me man
and i know i’mma be just fine, i’mma be just fine…

[verse 2]
it’s been two years, smiling true cheer
when it comes to listening, i ain’t got two ears
taking n0body’s sh~t, that’s where i’m at now
i keep getting hit, yet i haven’t backed down
all i have is scr~ps i’m at the peak of my hunger
and this the type of outlet that i need when i’m younger
finally dropping songs, people learning my name
telling me i’m going places saying “take me to fame”
feel myself getting c~ckier when i walk in the booth
like “i know, i spit hard enough to knock out my own tooth” ~spit~
but i don’t want the money i just wanna be heard
treat the top like a hot chick, just wait for my turn
deconstruct my words you find a powerful grace
a handsome face used to help me get in front of the race
so run run run as fast as you can
you can’t catch me, and i haven’t even began
[bridge 2]
yeah, i told y’all to watch out, cause i’m coming
coming for the top…
“citizen kane”

[verse 3]
5 years in, that’s when my turn came
sitting high and mighty right on top of the game
the whole world knows my name! and i’m getting paid
a million times a janitor makes a day
the stage, the bright lights, that’s where i live
taking on responsibilities cause i have a kid
so i’m a rap addict and a workaholic too
let’s be honest what’s eternal glory worth to all of you? (how much?)
for icons sobriety and privacy don’t exist (naw)
i own a f~cking mansion, so i don’t give a sh~t
it’s like this, so what if i have changed from the past? (so?)
i take that change, deposit it, and take out the cash
lost all my friends cause of decisions i made
look, i miss em really bad but that’s the price that i paid
so f~ck em, selling my soul was worth it for this
“c’mon jr, let’s go see fans in public and pose for pics”
trippin on fentanyl cause it’s legal now and meant for all
and helps me with my issues by letting me forget them all
so what? i’ve hidden my pain before
i’m winning all the battles i can’t wait to win the war!
[bridge 3]
yeah, i told you man, i told you i’mma be just fine
i’m fine…
“rosebud”

[verse 4]
10 years, shed tears
let’s hear, how did i get here?
surrounded myself with fakers, fans turned to haters
haven’t made a hit so label’s saying “see ya later”
this happens to a lot of prodigies in the end
get kicked to the curb, now that’s what they did to the 3rd
haven’t seen or spoken to my girl, nor a friend
my baby’s growing up without me as i sit in my den
surrounded by things enticing the simplest men
instead of revel, i think on the life that i’ve led
a chance to reflect on what a bum i’ve become
nothing but scum, and really it just makes me feel numb
it makes me feel dumb, this feels like it might be my final trial
plus, tonight got me feeling extra suicidal
so i’mma go and get drunk and get high to get by
say “goodbye” to my sorrows hope i don’t feel you tomorrow

[background voices]

~drinking sounds~
it’s not working, i’m feeling everything
i want my normal life back more than anything
wearing my insecurities on my sleeves…~sniffs~
wait no, it’s just snot from my sneeze
how could they leave?
everyone leaves, expecting me to stand on my feet, hmm
f~ck them all for abandoning me
no man i’m a freak, trapped in the land of the free
lived the american dream, turned into a nightmare
i was so close, i was right there
i’m only 30 and starting to get white hair
don’t matter how good you are, cause life doesn’t fight fair
from the beginning had the scent of mental illness
i guess i got what i wanted cause i’m the illest
so much anxiety sometimes it’s hard to breath
my chest feels like its squeezed, plus it’s hard to see
everything’s blurry, adhd
uhm…uh adhd
my chest feels like its squeezed and it’s…
it’s getting hard to see…f~ck

~body falls and bottle rolls across floor~

wake up, 2:15 in the morning
a bouncer telling me “go on get gone man”
so i stand, i wanna go home
i reach for my phone but no, i think i’ll walk on my own
stumbling down the road i’m barely functioning i’m rubbing in
my eyes with my thumbs cause i got some gunk in em
sensitive to light and i keep falling to the right
i’m feeling how it feels to get your nuts hit by a bike
my stomach is feeling as volatile as a nuke
plus i…i’m gonna puke

~puke sounds~

okay i feel a little bit better
a chill runs up my body from a shift in the weather
okay though let’s keep moving i don’t want no one to spot me
i spent too many years getting used to paparazzi
i’m getting close to my house that’s when i see
a young dude, don’t know, maybe bout 18
a friendly face, approaching and he’s starting to laugh
“yo jr!” how you doing man, you want my autograph?

~gun shot and deafening sound~

a huge flash and it’s like i went deaf
i see the dude running cross the street to the left
suddenly i’m having trouble catching my breath
i look down, blood on my chest, this is my death
thoughts of my child in my head at this moment
kinda feels like getting pulled in water now don’t it?
deeper, deeper, i’m trying to swim
but death has a grin, and i don’t think i can win
i hope people remember me for what i could do
i made mistakes but i was a good dude
they’ll say it looks like another rapper k!lled in the street
but my mental and the pain, n0body ever could see
i’m going deeper, deeper, just like falling asleep
this is my destiny and guess what? it’s made out of love
my last breath, exhale through lips covered with blood
“rosebud”, my heart stops with one last thud

~heartbeat slows and stops~

[outro]
d~mn…two years in, that’s where i’m at now
but this is merely a blurry image of who i could be
one of the many paths i could take
good thing i can make my own path
we all can

- lirik lagu jr the 3rd

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