lirik lagu jonah vermilya - the garden of shalimar
3 a.m. in lahore
paris of the east
i take flight from the hostel
black corduroy peacoat in tow
as the resin of the stars
multicolored droplets of wax
fall upon the mosques and
grace the cobblestone streets
in tender affectation
a gentle beggar
the likeness of marcus aurelius
asks for a smoke
to which i offer my last one
rolled in hashish
as i walk away i hear a long exhaling
“ah,” and a smile overcomes me
exhilarated, i run the half mile
to the edgе of the shalimar gardens
finally, finally i am free, i think to myself
lampposts rеflecting off the wading pools
i see oxen shackled to giant marble boulders
each one nesting an egg
the body of the holy spirit
and in their sleep they sculpt
grand effigies, their tails whipping
the soft stone in god’s images
treading past them, the pomegranate trees
smile and whisper to me in tongues
something about the true quest for knowledge
the hidden wisdom of the human soul
the convergence of the end of days
the ascending star of lucifer
but i shudder it off
too close is the secret vowel to the marrow
walking down the gilded path
golden mushrooms sprout as if from nowhere
glowing, iridescent caps in a jungle of fluorescence
disembodied voices laugh and cajole me to take them
and with the shrug of my shoulders
i eat them all, tens if not hundreds of mushrooms
now quaking in the empty cavern of my stomach
a cosmic rumble inducing vertigo
forces me to lie upon the singing earth
as stars explode and new universes
are siphoned into existence before me
a strange sensation overcomes my body
and when i sit up i am no longer a young man
but the seven year old boy of my youth
and a tempest of laughter and confusion
and tears burst from every atom
bathing me in golden light
until, one by one, the gravity of every particle
unchains itself from the burden
of corporeal existence
myself now a single point of awareness
in the ocean of consciousness
when, suddenly, a siren song sounds
the ground begins to shake
fire spews from the central fountain
the song rising to an ear splitting tone
and just as i try to look away in desperation
the horrid splendor of kali
penetrates the surface of the water
ten thousand arms dangling on a necklace
blood and split tongue spewing from the mouth
hissing and with bloodshot eyes
gives birth in one hand with a rusty dagger in the other
the ancient mother looks straight at me
this single point of awareness
with atom bomb pupils
erupting in banshee shrills
demanding sacrifice
i look down and see my body in the grass
now back to the form of a young man
sh~ll shocked, petrified, exultant
what about him, mother? i divine through the air
and kali stops screaming
slithering out of the pool to that woebegone form
smiling and ready for transformation, for ascension
and just like that she picks him up
and swallows him whole
as if it never was written at all
finally, finally i am free
finally, finally i am free
(finally i am free, i think)
but this time, this time it’s true
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