lirik lagu jhomez - welcome to the dating game
[verse]
come on down to the dating gameshow where you will find love at first sight
the catch? n0body is vetted, we didn’t have time, hope that’s alright
our first contestant is a lady named bertha, she’s a real peach
she’s got a lazy eye and an infected mole right on her ass cheek
she’s looking for a man who doesn’t mind a little extra meat
and if you’re into feet, well, you’re in for a real treat!
[chorus]
welcome to the dating game, where love is blind
we’ve got a bunch of misfits, so take your pick and don’t be shy
it’s a match made in heaven, or maybe in a dumpster
but hey, beggars can’t be choosers, so let’s move on to the next contender
[verse 1]
next up is a fella named cletus, he’s a charmin’ bloke
he’s got three t~~th and a neck tattoo that reads “i love to smoke”
he’s been married thrice before, but they all ran away
probably ’cause he hasn’t showered since the month of may!
then next we have a mystery, a real wild card
they go by the name of pat, and their gender’s kind of hard
to determine, but that’s okay, we don’t discriminate
they’re looking for love, and they just can’t wait
pat’s hobbies include collectin’ human hair and makin’ voodoo dolls
they live in their mom’s bas~m~nt, and they’re into punk rock and black mold
they promise to love you forever, and never let you go
but they might steal your identity, just thought you should know
[chorus]
welcome to the dating game, where love is blind
we’ve got a bunch of misfits, so take your pick and don’t be shy
it’s a match made in heaven, or maybe in a dumpster
but hey, beggars can’t be choosers, so let’s move on to the next contender
[verse 2]
now let’s meet our next contestant, a woman named gurtrude
she’s 87 years old, and she’s got a real attitude
she’s looking for a younger man, to help her feel alive
but be warned, she’s got a temper, and she’s not afraid to dive
into a fit of rage, if you don’t meet her demands
she’ll beat you with her cane, and make you rub her bunion hands
gertrude’s hobbies include knitting sweaters out of cat hair
and collecting used dentures, she finds them everywhere
she promises to love you, until the day she dies
which could be any minute now, so you better hurry and decide!
[chorus]
welcome to the dating game, where love is blind
we’ve got a bunch of misfits, so take your pick and don’t be shy
it’s a match made in heaven, or maybe in a dumpster
but hey, beggars can’t be choosers, so let’s move on to the next contender
[verse 3]
last but not least, we have a man named gus
he’s a real catch, if you can overlook the pus
oozing from his open sores, but don’t let that deter ya
he’s got a heart of gold, and a case of gonorrhea
gus is a professional couch surfer, he’s got no fixed abode
he’ll crash at your place indefinitely, and never pay what he owes
his hobbies include dumpster diving and collecting toenail clippings
he’ll make you feel special by giving you his love offering, scabies
gus promises to be faithful, until he needs a place to stay
then he’ll move on to his next victim, leave your place in disarray
[outro]
so there you have it, folks, our lineup for tonight
a bunch of freaks and weirdos, looking for love in the spotlight
but don’t be too quick to judge, ’cause we’ve all got our flaws
and who knows, maybe one of these oddb~lls will be the one to make you fall
(to your death)
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