lirik lagu jeff russo - rap battle
[oliver bird ~ jemaine clement]
i’m the old wizard who lives in the shoe
the sl!ck mack daddy from the ice cube
my body’s quite muscular, blood stream’s corpuscular
if you step to me, farkas, you’ll be sorry, sir
oh, yes. you’ll be sorry
[jerome/the wolf ~ jason mantzoukas]
i’m the big bad wolf, that’s what i’m telling you
i’ve got a sensitive nose, that’s why i’m smelling you
i’ll roofie your daughter, h~ll, i’ll roofie your son
i’m faster than a gun, so you can hide
but you can’t run
[oliver]
i’m an old~school warlock
slept in more bears’ beds than goldilocks
stay away from my kid or i’ll beat you with my c~ck
you may be an animal, but i’m a magical mammal
who can turn you into ash and then i’ll go on sabbatical
you got all of the id and none of the ego
you’re all bark and no bite, while i fly like an eagle
[jerome]
i’m the supine lupine, my libido k!lls sunshine
moody and spicy like a fine~ass toilet wine
i’m the new norm, like stepmother p~rn
like a sn~tch and grab in a college dorm
i’m everything that’s real
like the fact that veal is really adorable baby cows
who scream for their mommies when they die
mm, screams
[oliver]
i’ll take your reality and i’ll break it in half
then i’ll go take a shower or maybe a bath
see, i’m classy, i’m elegant, like a diplomat or a delegate
i’ve got b~lls of an elephant, by which i mean i’m masculine
i’ve got a lot of nice feminine qualities, too
you could say i’m the mother of disaster
the battle master, you call yourself a wolf?
you’re a sh~tty little b~st~rd
[jerome]
i’m the loco lobo, and your name is meat
here is my lap, come take a seat
i’ve got a spiky erection, like your daddy at bedtime
holding you tight and reading “once upon a hate crime”
i’m a hepatitis outbreak in a homeless encampment
i’m realer than real, i only got bad news
now get out of my way ’cause i win and you lose
[oliver]
you’re a scared little boy and you’re crying boo~hoo
because you know deep inside that n0body loves you
i’ve got family and friends, i give money to charity
every year on my birthday
people send me cards and letters
my mom and dad still write to me
little old ladies still smile at me
puppies aren’t afraid of me
i get more hugs than hate mail
and i go to bed happy
can you say that, you sad, sad man?
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