lirik lagu ja will - purple song
[intro]
i don’t relate to people easily (i don’t relate to people easily)
i don’t think most of the relationships i had were as in~depth as they could’ve been
and part of me wonders if…that, i didn’t truly know myself (i don’t relate to people easily)
and that if i did have deeper relationships, then i would end up hatin’ the man i end up seein’
that was my, like, true fear (that was my, like, true fear)
sh~t, f~ckin’ everywhere, my brothеrs, my mom, my sisters, my cousins, my dad
the women i talkеd to, the friends i had (dad, the women i talked to, the cousins, my mom, friends i had)
i don’t know, i didn’t think people would understand me
i still don’t think people understand me
maybe that’s changed, and i’m too caught up in my own sh~t to realize that
and it’s not like it’s easy, you know, to let people in
it’s not like i make it any easy for people to get to know me
i think people have a general idea of who i was, and maybe who i am, um
but i thought for so long, if people did understand me, they’d probably be more worried about me, which i never wanted
so i’d be more vague and less exposin’
of how my heart works, outside of these random outbursts that i can’t keep in
i ain’t wanna die, but i never wanted to live like that
[verse 1]
a couple suicide letters that i wrote to this piano
the shine that i feel is too close to a burnin’ candle
shackles on my feet slowly turnin’ into sandals
so i stand on my morals, and what i learned on my travels
whether stuff a kid learn, things i think while spliff~burned
or the thoughts that passed my mind when we was high, and that whip turned
and crashed into a ditch, i was madder than a b~tch
’cause i woke up the next mornin’ still sadder than a b~tch
can’t land in this b~tch, i’m the man in this b~tch
put my soul in these notes, no need for fans in this b~tch
can’t stand in this b~tch, but i’ll jump on my feet
throw these thoughts a hunnid feet
the way my story ends can’t equate into defeat
i inflate full of grief, can’t fall out of my t~~th
so i keep it all in, and no one knows what i think
i keep it all in, and no one knows what i think
[chorus]
don’t wanna die, but can’t live like this
don’t wanna die, but can’t live like this
don’t wanna live, but can’t die like this
don’t wanna live, but can’t die like this
[verse 2]
a few apologies i’ve given to these people on these drums
how much guilt do you carry into heaven when it’s done?
how much shame do you hold in your chest? mine’s a ton
got so many reasons why i don’t deserve the sun
my vices give me powers, i could lose it all today
security was foreign, self~esteem was never placed
i’m a hypocrite, question why i live with this, the stitch is ripped
so now i let this grief out on anyone that’s listenin’
christal is the notebook, my words is the pen
every thursday i’m shocked, bein’ vulnerable again
runnin’ from my sins, but thuggin’ to the end
i ain’t budgin’, i ain’t nothin’ but a motherf~ckin’ man
with enough in my head, while my mind’s on a cliff
won’t try to kick myself, i have my shine, give me a lift
but i know i ain’t consistent, so i might just slip
i said i know i ain’t consistent
havin’ nights like days only makes the days darker
and concludes to myself that good times is on the borrow
while today, i sit with the fear of fallin’ to the bottom
and stayin’ there with the bad habits of an author
too cold and too numb
to the world that i reflect, that’s full of hope and full of love
that create these evil beings with no souls, deprived of wants
who hurt these broken people, all alone and out of luck
i think i’ve had enough
of these cowards that claim brave, they never want us free
imprison all of our hopes, but want us to be drug~free
these days, i wonder if change is somethin’ we won’t see
until then, it’s f~ck them, it’s always been f~ck me
i rest inside these bandages i bleed through
but a storm’s comin’, i refuse to sleep through
it doesn’t take a microscope to see through
this world that stain my red and blue, my vision
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