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lirik lagu ivory rasmus - need

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2019, it seemed everything was different
and i know those years were different
all the sh~t that i was living
i was ignorant
i got info all at once
i couldn’t sit with it
i would run, run, run
i couldn’t live with it
i grabbed the gun, fun
mom, your son is giving into it
and wishing i could undo all the sh~t i said
the only option seemed like painting walls red
i don’t care who i helped

i’m done
i can’t be helped
i’ll run
and force release
it’s all i want
went through h~ll
and for what?
i stood ground till i was shunned

i don’t need a pill to feel okay
and that’s because now i don’t talk to you
look, i think of how you spoke to me
like, “who the f~ck you talking to?”
i guess you like it when your friends don’t leave the house
babe, you’re married to your hand
i was married to my outs
sh~t
no job, but i’m working
i got cash in my jeans
i know why y’all are mean
nothing’s changed since your teens
i was pushed out of the crowd
and i’m glad they let me out
called irrelevant
but, that just means my name is out their mouths
vistaril before we’d call
you never loved me like i loved you
y’all don’t care at all
i wish it wasn’t so impossible to let you go
i just walked away and didn’t really let them know
and when you never hit me up, i’ll know i’m acting fair
this ain’t a friend group, it’s a ladder
and i felt the tears
you lost faith
or did you finally just let it show
that i’ve been worthless in your eyes ‘cus i’m letting go?

i wanna talk about what’s hurting, not just laugh it off
i wanna talk without a filter, but you’ll f~cking scoff
i wanna love myself and be me till it’s all i know
please don’t hit me with facades
i just wanna grow
it was always gonna end
at least i had you as a friend
i went through more than i could ever show you
i let go of all of me
and put me back together
give me sp~ce

i was always alone
stuck in my head
latching onto every word that filled me with dread


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