lirik lagu -itis - tv talkshow therapy
(verse 1)
i’m sad, i’m glad, i’m happy, i’m mad
i look like a woman but i’m really a man
i’m fat, i’m thin, i’m fat again
my wife cheated on me so i slept with her friend
i’m black, i’m white, i hate my life
i lost my dog to a transvestite
i’m so alone, it’s plain to see, there must be someone else like me
(chorus)
i need some help from my tv, i need some talkshow therapy
i’ll scream and cheer “they’re just like me”
my tv talkshow therapy
(verse 2)
go ricki! oprah, richard bey! can you believe that guy is gay?
it’s sally jessy, donahue, if she did that i’d shoot her too
montel williams, jenny jones
with homeless guys who now have homes
it’s geraldo, jerry springer, that chick cut off his dingalinger
(chorus)
i’ll get some help from my tv, i need some talkshow therapy
i’ll scream and cheer “he’s just like me”
my tv talkshow therapy
it’s free
(spoken bridge)
“did you leave lorraine because she was pregnant?”
“i did, i left her because she was pregnant”
“you and the condom, the condom broke”
“second guest on our programme was a viewer shot three weeks?”
“yeah, three weeks”
“uh, show us the bullet hole”
“what you mean mine?”
“everyone she actually had s~xual relations with her clients, but that’s a whole other coffin”
(solo)
(verse 3)
my tv now is my best friend, the stream of insight never ends
i ponder endlessly “who won?” then study clues in the reruns
i used to wander all alone, but now i’m happy in my home
there are so many just like me, i love my talkshow therapy
(chorus)
i got some help from my tv, i got some talkshow therapy
i scream and cheer (i scream, i cheer) “he’s just like me” (“he’s just like me”)
my tv talkshow therapy (i love my talkshow therapy)
(outro)
(tv talkshow)
there’s just so much to choose from
(therapy)
if i change the channel, i might just lose one
(tv talkshow)
they all say the same thing, but at different times
(therapy)
so if i watch talk soup, i’ll be just fine
(tv talkshow therapy)
“violence and criminal justice”
(tv talkshow therapy)
(tv talkshow therapy)
“anorexia, anorexia”
(tv talkshow therapy)
(tv talkshow therapy)
“people who repeat themselves”
“coming up next, coming up next”
(tv talkshow therapy)
(tv talkshow therapy)
(what’s next, therapy?”
“coming up next, acquaintances of o.j. simpson”
(tv talkshow therapy)
(tv talkshow therapy)
jealous boyfriends and the women who love them
(tv talkshow therapy)
(tv talkshow therapy)
(shoo~be~doo~wap therapy)
(shoo~wa~be~de~doo~wap therapy)
(scoo~wabba~dee~doo~wat therapy)
(mark’s a weirdo so are we)
tv talkshow therapy!
tv talkshow therapy!
tv talkshow therapy!
yeah!
“that’s all folks!”
“alright, now in our audience”
“thank you for that pause then”
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