lirik lagu ilyhabits - hate myself
[verse]
mistakes~ are a part of the journey, just don’t let them sit in the front seat
everybody says i’m perfect, and i’m living for a purpose, but honestly i truly hate me
i’ve been called this and that, i’ve been through h~ll and back
now i’m running from my problems like track
i can’t identify, the vital conditions keeping me alive, but i’m happy that god is letting me survive
all these kids falling into temptation, to take that unprescribed medication
i’m probably gonna go to h~ll, ’cause i’ve done and said things that are unforgivable
no one ever listened so it felt i was invisible, but now i go to a therapist who sees that i am miserable
and he’s really helping, ’cause he’s making shelf my misery, and my pastor makes me forgive, for everything people have did to me
now i don’t hold burdens, and i’m not in mental misery, now i’m living in struggle tryna wash away my history
[chorus]
yes i really hate myself, i hate myself
it started to go away when i was twelve
i hate myself, i hate myself
yeah i don’t have wealth, but i don’t need help
i hate myself, i hate myself
dish my problems to the side, it’ll solve itself
[verse]
i’ma keep it a hundred, i never really confronted, the problems i had to grow up with
except i just sat there and suffered, and kept my internal screams m~ffled
my mind is puzzled, my plays are huddled
’cause i always grew up in trouble
maybe one day i’ll find a way, to admit the secrets i put away
everyday i wonder~ am i really saved?, ’cause i always doubted god’s escape
and i’m hoping i can get into heaven without pressing replay
god will look at my life, and skim through my highlights, and notice my dark days
and look at all of my fights, and all of those nights, and will wonder how i changed my ways
and i’ma be honest and say that i never did, it was all just because i was a kid
yeah, that life was fun but i didn’t wanna be a criminal, or a reciprocal
’cause i would’ve been looked at pitiful, and probably unfixable, and be diagnosed as clinical
i’m not your original, typical, despicable, provisional, unlivable, individual
inside my brain is a war, it’s a fight of good and evil, and i don’t know which side i’m on
’cause i pray for forgiveness, but then i do it again
not out of disrespect, but the desire of fitting in
now i’m talking to him, and i don’t know where to begin
’cause i was never his friend, ’cause i thought he didn’t give a d~mn because i asked and didn’t receive
and coming from me i know it’s hard to believe, ’cause i always put on a great scene
but deep down inside i’m not really that guy, but i do wish i was different
and i don’t even go outside, it has nothing to do with fear, and nothing to do with here
it’s just the disgust of the guy who is in the mirror
[chorus]
yes i really hate myself, i hate myself
it started to go away when i was twelve
i hate myself, i hate myself
yeah i don’t have wealth, but i don’t need help
i hate myself, i hate myself
dish my problems to the side, it’ll solve itself
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