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lirik lagu hunxho - ups & downs

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[verse]
i go so hard, why i’m so hard, this on myself, kid
i don’t talk a lot, still got a lot of sh~t i never said
my ups and downs, this sh~t ain’t even, still stay level~head
i know they bleed just like i bleed, so i ain’t never scared
get paid for tragedy, put my plaque all on my deathbed, yeah
i love my block and i been gone, but i ain’t never left, yeah
been holdin’ grudges on my daddy ’cause he ain’t never said sorry
put this metal on his melon, n~gga ever say somethin’
say somethin’, got a thing for red rum
in my head so messed up, when i think
get in the car and pull out, that b~tch lift up
heart been broke so many times like how the h~ll i still love? yeah
they could never take somethin’ god gave me, got a heart
believe in me, i had it hard, don’t go against me
i be tryna act happy around my son, he feed off energy
i be seein’ the hurt inside my mama, sh~t be k!llin’ me
i been busy, lord, just let my sisters know i got ’em
n~ggas with me, these more like my brothers, not my partners, yeah
i wish dre could see me now, it hurt me when they shot him dead
watchin’ out for snakes inside my grass, these n~ggas copperheads
ridin’ in my cars, i know i’m legal
but i ain’t tryna go to jail, so i still watch for 12
got ash and pluck, this sh~t forever, it got me outta jail
collect calls to my mama, sayin’ i’ll never tell
mama, you raised me well
mama raised me right, i did wrong on my own
got a house in every county, but i can’t call this place home, it ain’t my block
2200, it’s on my eyes and this sh~t locked
ghost all on my gun, no serial number, but this a glock, n~gga
rel, i blame myself that i couldn’t save you
i’m still tryna figure out where they had chased you
and that sh~t k!lled you, and this sh~t k!lled me
i’m good, my kids love me, i don’t care about who fear me
they think where we come from, we ain’t got hearts, we still cry
if n~ggas tried this sh~t two years ago, we still slidin’
this sh~t off my head, this real pain, i don’t steal lines
still say to my mama sorry that i chose violence
this sh~t won’t stop, mama
catch him outside and gotta spin they block, mama
but my neck water like the bottom of the dock, mama
know what go around come around just like a clock, mama
that mean if i spin, i go again until they shot, mama
i still make sh~t happen
and i pray that god judge me off my heart, not my actions
i go to sleep and i see demons
please don’t wake me up, i’m fightin’ ’em off, i’m still dreamin’
woah
and i don’t care to be the hardest
i’m tusk tough just like a walrus
and this on gang, we ain’t the gang that you want war with
nothin’ don’t last forever, but while i’m here, i’ma enjoy it, i’m lyin’
i worked so hard for all this money to give ’em every dime
can’t say you call me and i ain’t pick up, n~gga, every time
just one more strike and then i’m out, sh~t, i’m like barry bonds
sh~t, i got rich, prepared for war, i bought like every gun
tryna save my n~ggas, they so deep, sh~t, they won’t leave the slums
i say i love you, then i mean it, i ain’t tryna lead you on
before i ever do you wrong, baby, i’ll leave you ‘lone


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