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lirik lagu hpkritical - home safety hotline

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[phone operator]
hi! i’m hpkritical and welcome to home safety hotline~ oh, gimme a sec. hold on

[caller]
sir! thank you for picking up, i got a lot of problems so here’s what’s up
some of them are normal but some are messed up so give me the diagnosis
let me pee in your cup

[phone operator]
hi! thank you for your call. i know the drill for every issue, so give me ‘em all
then i’ll put you on hold, so don’t go far! then i’ll hit you with the answer and you’ll give me five stars

[caller, phone operator]
i’m feeling dizzy and my body’s cold
i’m gonna stop you right there
that’s black mold

[caller, phone operator]
i’m hearing squeaks in every corner of the house
call an exterminator
that’s a mouse

[caller]
my skin’s turning pink and my boy’s gone missing
my walls started bleeding and i can’t stop p~ssing
there’s a silhouette in the corner of my eye
and he whispers to me about how i’m gonna die, ah~
[phone operator]
i’m sure he’s fine
(black mold…)
(common hobb…?)
(unicorn fungi…??)
welcome to home safety hotline

[caller]
thanks! for watching! my video! if you liked it, you already know where to go! wathc another and another! show them to you mother! show me to you mom! show me to your mom! show me to your momma! show me to your mother! let your mother see me! and another and another


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