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lirik lagu gypsy rose lee - i can't strip to brahms

[verse]

at the age of nine, i sang in the choir
and did transcriptions for the lyre
at the age of 12 my heart was set
on doing grand opera at the met

[aside, spoken]
from the beginning i had trouble with my chest tones
my problem was biological ~ too much chest, not enough tone

it was all too discouraging, that learning to sing
until the messieurs minksy took me under their wing
they put my name on broadway, in electric lights
below it said: “wrestling, thursday nights”

but i still clung to the classics
however it would appear
that classical music is not conducive
to a strip~teaser’s career

somеhow, i can’t strip to brahms
can’t do the bump to puccini

i find it most unpleasant
stripping to poet and pеasant
and heaven knows i’d play to an empty house
if i ever got hot to johann strauss
to the music of rimsky~korsakov
i could never take a corset off
and how many sailors would pay
to see me strip to mass in a

i didn’t give up without a struggle
i mean i really tried
bringing classical music to burlesque
to me was a matter of pride

one week i tried stripping to wagner
what a production that was!

first, i got rid of the spear
then slowly, sensuously
i took off my helmet
as the lights dimmed
i went to work on the armour
piece by piece
bit by bit
rivet by rivet
i dropped it in the orchestra pit
then i stood there doing my dance
hitting high cs while i took off my~
…garter belt
all i can say is:
to h~ll with götterdämmerung and the whole d~mned ring!
i was black and blue for weeks

for a change of pace
i stripped to così fan tutte
not all of it of course
i dropped the fan and used just the ‘tutte’

the next week i was margarita
in nothing but a long golden braid
that was quite a success
until the night of the raid

but i might as well face it
my public is not smitten with smetana
mozart does nothing, but nothing, for my art

to the haunting strains of anton arensky
the boys in the back row can’t tell a he from a she
and to the music of peter ilyich tchaikovsky
they’d never yell “take it off~sky!”

there’s no getting away from it:
i can’t strip to brahms
can’t shake my fan to chopin
maria callas can have it
i’ll leave her to tosca
while i toss my tassel
to something less classical

i can’t roll a sock to bach
i gotta rock, rock, rock around the clock!

there’s korsakov
rachmaninov
glazunov
prokofiov [sic]
and here i am with nothing off!

i’ll have to go on shaking my beeves[?]
to the music published by leaves!

[instrumental break]

oh boys!
i can’t take that off, i’ll catch cold!

- lirik lagu gypsy rose lee

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