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lirik lagu furzs - numb

(verse 1: furzs)
time in my life where i was wishing i’d die
every morning waking up and i was thinking i might
every time that i was drinking i was thinking i’d try
i nearly did it twice, never pictured being in this sky
under the influence, drugs were never something i’d like
till i was taking anything and everything for a high
you just thought that i’d party hard i was escaping my mind
n0body’s worried, they just be like, nah, they never take ryan
but i was lying to the fact that had me leading the blind
and if you weren’t doing this with me i would leave you behind
i let the devil in my system he was bleeding me dry
i was losing weight quick my sleep was really deprived
talking seven days a week i would sleep for a couple nights
paranoid i’m hearing things go to sleep with a couple knives
at first thought i was tripping this happened a couple times
i got new people around me i’m feeling like they’re my guys
we are getting high and talking they know what’s wrong up inside
they’re making me feel better so f~ck you and your advice
that’s how i reply to people who really care for me like
last year i dominated this year i’m letting it slide
like how you go from that to this i’ve broken my pride
man i was running i got close and then i froze on the line
i overdosed, i nearly died, that really opened my mind
i’m on my way to hospital, not knowing if i survive
i’m on my third day without sleep, it got me thinking i might
went a little too fast started passing out as i cried
looking out the window thinking i really f~cked up this time
my girlfriend’s panicking, driving, she’s screaming, ryan, just why
don’t you close your eyes, we’re nearly there and everything’s fine
what’s my family gonna think if i don’t make it tonight
and when they talk of my demise, that’s what i’m leaving behind
if the barrels got six shots, it’s like i’m loaded with fire
playing russian roulette, hoping that i’m hopefully fine
i’m not ready to leave, i don’t think you know what it’s like
until you have been here and you feel like you’re a ghost in the night
when you walk in without direction any road could be right
suicidal thoughts i penned down in this note that i write
i started struggling to cope with all my friends who have died
how selfish am i to try when it’s preventable right
they’d give anything for a life and they ain’t f~cking alive
and you have me young and healthy out here f~cking with mine
that really f~cks with my mind
i said i’m out of young and healthy really f~cking with mine
that really f~cks with my mind
i hate letting my mom down i can see that she feels hopeless
dad well he’s always worried and never knows how to help it
and then there is my girlfriend like why the h~ll have you dealt this
we come from different lives and never in hers has felt this
got my real ones telling me this ain’t you and how can we help it
i think it’s time to tell the truth lay it down as i felt it come corrected
cause i don’t want n0body to spell check what i’m projecting
he’s only ever honest, it’s healthy
i went on tour 86 kilo and never felt better
i came back, lost my job, drug habits and letters
all my bills are piling up, i’m getting calls from collectors
spent all the money that i made on f~cking b~lls and just betting
to make it worse my car was stolen, it’s a war or theft man
even then i f~cking thought that i should pause for a second
i got worse, i’m on the radio, can’t talk in a sentence
sh~t i really hit the bottom, i’m surprised i ain’t dead yet
i knew the problems that i had, i didn’t know how to mend it
too afraid to face my fears, so on my face i pretend it
write a message then delete, how do i say i’ma end it?
i can’t believe that it is me who’s sending these f~cking death threats
i wanna say i’m thankful for everybody who checked us
and sorry to the people that i hurt when i was reckless, i’ll mend it
but if you forgot me well then forget it
if told you that i love you and need you i really meant it, real talk
i wanna say i’m clean and i quit
i’m sorry i could be like this
but i’m back now and never will i leave
i give you everything that i am so i can be like this real talk
care what they f~cking say man, you know it’s real talk
yeah, i couldn’t care what they say motherf~cker real talk real talk
you know it’s real talk

- lirik lagu furzs

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