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lirik lagu freshy kanal - homelander vs zoolander

[intro: freshy k~n~l]
america’s darling, homelander, is about to make a public statement after the recent accusations leveled against him by shockingly s~xy male supermodel, derek zoolander
claiming that the vought~funded hero’s allegedly ugly, and is quote~unquote, “very ugly.”
mhm, you know, i wouldn’t take that, me personally, but–
also, the deep blew a~train…i guess…what a slow news day

[verse 1: homelander (cam steady)]
ha~ha~ha~ha
before i show a walking mannequin the male they all model
i’ll give him one remaining chance to bring out hansel and grovel (yeah)
i’m surprised they found a brain they can wash in you, you’re so docile
that you make the deep’s thoughts sound like f~ckin’ aristotle’s!
who fails to k!ll a literal sitting president? let me aid ya
i’ll blaze his entire nation, i’m firing malaysia!
crushed to hear your wife got paved into a crater
when my vought tower came down on her, afraid i couldn’t save her
america’s best weapon’s red, white, blue in a tight suit!
i’m headin’ the seven, remind you of your iq?
defect again and i’ll find you with bird’s eye view
char you to a lump of coal so dad will finally like you!

[verse 2: zoolander (littleflecks)]
ew, fly back to your lab, stay there
invent a compound that patches gray hair
the grossest thing in your show’s your lack of face care
impenetrable skin? you’ve been cooked since day care!
i was born super good~looking, you got a serum
and you’re still a disappointment, soldier boy, tell him
i’ll ruin your supe~premacy views in two seconds:
if everyone’s an uber~loser like you, then it’s ew~genics!
he can’t be a fascist, his fit his far from trippy
that tacky fabric’s giving n~z~ party city (what?)
you’re so bland and sickly to even dere~l!ck me
you must’ve lost your mind with no vicky!
your kind got poached like dodos, had nowhere to go but solo
now your son prefers the hobo, so you’ve totally got fomo!
don’t you know you go so loco for bad promo?
let your public image own you like your soul’s trapped in a photo
[interlude]
(various overlapping interview questions)

[verse 3: homelander (cam steady)]
relax…
he’s braindead and wife’s dead, so both heads get zero action
there’s too much hair gel in his ear c~n~l to hear you rapping!
anything coherent passes through him faster
than some weirdo’s package into the nearest assh0l~ at herogasm!
like black noir, i’ll make you hide that face!
you’ll never land another runway like a hijacked plane!
won an award for that magnum? your daddy wish he’d used one!
he celebrated way too early with his first two sons!
humans are fragile, i’ll make them snap like your pants!
i look down at them like, “what is this? a planet for ants?”
but me? i make a bullet stop in its track with ease!
you flop as soon as you’re shot by a magazine!
trust me, all i need is one look!
meanwhile, all you’ve got is one look!
i will let you join your pals, so thank me!
now let’s light this candle, shall we?

[guitar solo]

[verse 4: zoolander (littleflecks)]
sorry…
i have an after~city~wreckage party to be tending to!
you weren’t invited, john, no one’s really friends with you
no hypnosis needed, you’re a pampered lab~grown lackey!
even that storm~affront on fashion made you come in handy!
say i’m brainwashed again? what’s included in your super duties?
only suited to act in some booty ~tropic thunder~ movies!
vought milked you so bad that the thought has got you drooling!
i’m not your bra (brah), but you can suck me like some b00bies!
rooted for by some teens who think they’re being understood?
you’re the center for kids who can’t read media good!
i’ll gather all of the boys, they can witness you squeal!
what’s a blue man of steel to zoolander’s blue steel?
[instrumental outro]

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