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lirik lagu epic rap battles of history - donald trump vs kamala harris

[intro]
epic rap battles of history!
donald trump!
vs!
kamala harris!
begin!

[verse 1: donald trump]
i’ve got the best wordplays, ask my supporters

you’re a scam, you’re whole nomination is a hoax
your party is so pro~choice, they aborted a state’s right to vote
you pencil pushing p~ssy bows, think you can scare me with prison?
get your mugshot, then your mug shot, then come talk to me about convictions
you’re the radical left, you should be embarrassed
the way you divide our country, i’ll call you: cameltoe harris
your inflation’s got our nation clippin’ coupons
wallets leaking worse than a wet lab in wuhan
i had evеry american’s 401k thrivin’
stock markets higher than thе planes full of migrants you fly in
and don’t even try to deny the cognitive decline you were hiding
propping up joe like it was weekend at biden’s
i’m here to teach you what losing to a winner feels like
ask pence: i know how to drop a mike!

[verse 2: kamala harris, joe biden]

, you are gross (ehh!)
you’ve been bending american decency over a barrel
giving lady liberty the finger like she’s e. jean carrroll
in that big creepy house with our secrets stacked in piles
from documents to pedos, you spend too much time with files
having sleepovers with laura loomer, what’s going on with ya?
can’t you afford more than temu melania? (hoo!)
you failed in your own city: bank, ballot box and court
you’re home alone 2, you lost in new york
i was there on january 6th, it wasn’t fun for me
just like your bowels, i was evacuated suddenly (aggh!)
you are history’s least hopeful presidential hopeful
moods swinging wildly like stock in truth social
i’m here to build bridges from texas to niagara falls

[verse 3: donald trump]
i hope you wrote that commie cr~p in red ’cause you’re taking a huge loss
this is ending worse for you than afghanistan did for your boss
a man handed you everything you ever did
you couldn’t make your own way, you couldn’t even make your own kids

[verse 4: kamala harris]
your mommy was absent when you were just a little baby
and if she saw you now, she’d wish she were a childless cat lady

[donald trump]
well, i know how you failed the bar exam after that
i guess the half of you whose job it is to rap isn’t black!

[kamala harris]
oh, good one, you ketchup smelling edgelord
you rock the beat softer than stormy daniel’s headboard (heheheh!)

[donald trump]
i can’t believe i’m even in a race with this hog
hope you wear makeup in ohio,

[kamala harris]
donald, i’m putting you away like a rapist back in cali
you should leave this battle early like the crowds at your rallies
[donald trump]
i have all the biggest rallies

[kamala harris]

[donald trump]
you’re ugly!

[kamala harris]
you are ugly!

[donald trump]
well, you’re a marxist…

[verse 5: theodore roosevelt]
jumpin’ jesus h. huckleberry christ on a crutch!
no one wants to fight about politics this much
you! madam red, white and pantsuit
don’t let getting hired be the greatest thing you ever do
and you! sweet baby back ribs up in heaven

i’ve come here on the back of my musky antlered beast
with a message for whichever one of you sucks the least
this government was founded on self~evident truths
so keep it of the people, by the people, for the people! moose!
[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic rap (moose grunts) baaaaaaaaattles of history!

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