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lirik lagu epic rap battles of cartoons - ninjago vs teenage mutant ninja turtles

[intro]
epic rap battles of cartoons!
tmnt!
vs!
ninjago!
begin!

kai:
it’s time to kick some turtle ass, prepare for double trouble
we’re the masters of spinjitzu, you’re the masters of assh0l~s
jay:
i’m the blue ninja of lightning! prepare to get electrocuted
our show made many kids keep watching, your show is so stupid
zane:
jay is right, is your show even for normal people
you’re just mutated turtles eating italian food and defeating evil
cole:
i’m strong and solid, try to take on my lego abs
i may be afraid of snakes, but i can still make your sh~ll crack
lloyd:
i may be little, but i can still take on all 4 of you
i am the golden ninja, can you see my point of view?
kai:
you guys are so weak, a can of worms is stronger than you all
i could have a better fight than run in ninjaball
jay:
your master is a joke, your enemies makes me laugh
gnarly dude? n0body ever wants to give a cr~p
zane:
mutated f~cking turtles! ha! what a joke!
all:
looks like we’re going to own this polluted hoax
leonardo:
oh please, man, one of you 1 on 1 me dude
i’ll bring more pain than lego on your bottom of your shoes
donatello:
you’ll chop up you chumps and rebuild you all again
we ain’t your friends, i bet you guys can’t count up to ten
raphael:
we actually fight, you guys can’t do sh~t
we’re about mess you up and chop off your lego brick d~ck
michelangelo:
cowabunga! we’re gonna beat you guys, jesus!
mmm i’m hungry for ninja lego brick pizza!
leonardo:
we’re heroes, even though you don’t know what that is like
you’ll be run over by a submarine powered by a bike
donatello:
gentleman and raphael, we’re gonna break you all
we all are gonna kick your asses like booyakasha!
raphael:
we are not kung~fu frogs, we are the ninja turtles
we could k!ll you all faster than counting all sides on a circle
michelangelo:
we can win this battle like fighting shred head
after this, we’ll make you never say xever again!

kai:
get ready to be burned by this scorching meteor
cole:
the only people that watch your show are kids that are 4
jay:
michelangelo, go back to your happy place with ponies!
zane:
now give us a piece of pizza pepperoni!
lloyd:
stuff your face in pizza, but you could lose some f~cking weight
kai:
i’ll tip your sh~ll, and you’ll struggle as you encounter your fate
jay:
we maybe lego or not, but we can still kick your ass
your show is nothing but a laugh and a piece of cr~p
leonardo:
dude, chill, it’s a battle not a f~cking ninja fighting thing
raphael:
we’re cool and kids like us more, we make cha~ching
donatello:
we’ll shove a master splinter in your asses, make ya scream
michelangelo:
these lego douchebags could only win in their dreams
leonardo:
lego more like f~cking go, ya know
raphael:
i have sk!lls much better than you dumbasses bro
donatello:
we may live in the sewers, but you’re the ones who need a shower
all:
remember you plastic spaztics, we all got turtle power!

[outro]
who won?
who’s next?
you decide!
epic… cowabunga… rap battles of cartoons!

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