lirik lagu ennui (ny) - beside the door of becoming
spoken for in varied tongues
of what my birth means to you
mother, father—antithetical other
but it’s his namesake that strings tall
the weakest spirit wails the loudest
in brutality or frailty
insist, extol, consummate culture
forward to the end of imposing voice
the timbre of mars in a shroud of more
i see you brother–in lamb, beast and shudder
in the cold silver of yourself
life seizing, bind at the root
in the rusted, forgotten, irrelevant awe
sold the last of your brine for antipathy
“i am enough,” “i am love,”
“i am loud,” “i am smug.”
“love me,” “love me more,”
“love me now,” “i hate me.”
endarkened by the jovial nights
heard a man can walk out if he plays his cards right
and i find your disappointments creeping in
and devising strange law inside of me
and it’s not enough to be handed life and its unwarranted intricacies, boredoms, and performances
and here i appease a nature that you decided
into the heart of madness
empty fathers and empty brothers
masculinity as suicide—set to explode
obsolescence
there’s no place for me
masculinity as suicide—set to explode
crawl, die
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