lirik lagu elsa lanchester - if you can't get in the corners
[intro: charles laughton]
the following song is about a fast~disappearing type
[verse: elsa lanchester]
whenever i go to get a job and have an interview
the ladies always use the same maneuvers
they tell me how short my hours will be, how little i’ll have to do
with their electroluxes and their hoovers
that’s when i fix them with my coldest gaze
and tell them what my husband, egbert, says
[chorus: elsa lanchester]
if you can’t get in the corners, you might as well give up
that’s what he maintains
no matter how you rig it, you can never trust a spigot
he explains
they’re inventions of the devil, with their wheezing and their hum
give me a piece of cheesecloth, you can keep your vacuum
[verse: elsa lanchester]
oh, one might do very well for getting fleas off from a pup
but if you can’t get in the corners, you might as well give up
now, egbert, he used to sell those vacuums from door to door
i met him when he came to demonstrate
he put on such a pretty act there on the parlor floor
i fell in love, and soon he was my mate
but egbert changed his tactics then and there
he said, you can put them devices you~know~where
we have a friend, a mrs. grimes, who hires out by the hour
we tried to warn her but she only sneered
this house had got a new vacuum, when she plugged in the power
it went woosh, her combinations disappeared
as mrs. grimes remarked that night, her underwear was clean
but what a nerve was having them sn~tched off by a machine
[chorus: elsa lanchester]
if you can’t get in the corners, you might as well give up
and me, i do agree
for a thing that sucks and blows through a nozzle or a hose
just ain’t for me
oh, why get tangled with electric cords and blooming, billowing bag
when all you need is a bit of spit, and your finger, and a rag
oh, i hate a thing that whizzes and goes slup~slup
if you can’t get in the corners, you might as well give up
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