lirik lagu eli arbor - my paradise
[verse 1]
i don’t really know who i wanna be
i really don’t know who i wanna be with
all i know is that i’m tryna find me
but who’s the best we for me to be me with?
there was sarah, we was from the same city
she get all my jokes cause she was always there with me
we listen to music, me and her we just vibe
but i’m scared to show her how these years have changed me inside
it’s just hard to see past the time gap that tore us apart
but i even now she inspire my art
and i know that she’s motherf-ckin perfect
i just don’t know if i’m certain
and it’s not like i don’t wanna be with her
it’s not like i don’t wanna be with her
it’s not that i don’t wanna be with her
i just gotta make sure i’m me with her
now colleen, we went to the same school
soc major, she thinks that i’m cool
don’t know my music but she’s digging my beard
i appreciate how our conversations are weird
she a little bit sarcastic, a little bit bombastic
loves books for fun, thinks that reading is magic
she likes me for me, we studied at the same place
humanities major, so discussions relate
but she don’t get where i’m from, i don’t get it either
background is different, but experience’ll teach us
know that she’s definitely worth it
i just don’t know if i’m certain
and it’s not like i don’t wanna be wit her
it’s not like i don’t wanna be with her
it’s not that i don’t wanna be with her
i just gotta make sure i’m me with her
[hook]
let’s take this slow
we can hold off, just don’t let go
they say you’ll know
feel into your soul and lose control
but i don’t know
we’re close, but you ain’t feel like home yet
let’s take time to make sure
(x2)
[post-hook]
black, brown, asian, rican
caramel, chocolate, b-tter, pecan
philipino, polynesian
she jamaican or antiguan
(x2)
[verse 2]
now jessie’s white, people say it ain’t right
but sometimes i wonder cause she cares about my life
she f-cks up sometimes but she always makes it right
and she’s answers my call, any day any night
self conscious when people see us together
cause i know they judge my life and -ssuming that i’m wit her
but she’s always been there try not to care what they say
growing up i’d be around these white folks everyday
and she cares, but some things she’ll never get
like when we get pulled over keep it cool or i’m dead
and i’m not saying that she’s not important
i just gotta make sure that i’m certain
and it’s not like i don’t wanna be with her
it’s not like i don’t wanna be with her
it’s not that i don’t wanna be with her
i just gotta make sure i’m me with her
it’s weird to think i am is who i’m with
but it’s something recently that’s been scaring me to death
cause i still can’t put my pulse on who i really am
am i a reynolds street n-gga or a stanford grad
now i’m trapped in a sp-ce between worlds
the anchor i have is who i choose as my girl (where she at though?)
cause one week i’m me, one week him different
what if he ain’t for her and decides he dipping
i don’t wanna hurt others in pursuit of myself
my reliance on relationships is bad for my health
i’m not saying she isn’t certain
i just gotta find me as a person
and it’s not like i don’t wanna be with her
it’s not like i don’t wanna be with her
it’s not that i don’t wanna be with her
i just gotta make sure that i’m me wit her
(it was always sarah)
[hook]
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