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lirik lagu dj shitpants - bismillah

[intro: dj sh~tpants]
ay yo, f~ck that b~tch beanie god, he scammed my ass on this beat (ree, ree, ree, ree, ree, ree, ree)
(bismillah)
i payed thirty bucks for this b~tch (rah, rah, rah, rah)
i’m gonna rap on it anyway (eee)
f~ck you (ahh)
b~tch

[chorus 1: dj sh~tpants]
i’mma sell crack out yo grandma’s garage
i don’t give a f~ck that’s your grandma’s garage
how they gonna arrest me? that’s your grandma’s garage
they ain’t gonna raid my garage where i make bombs
i’mma sell crack preput in bongs
i’mma sell crack out yo grandpa’s camper
i don’t give a f~ck that he needs pampers
d~ck got three b~lls, i think i got cancer

[verse 1: dj sh~tpants]
i just robbed a b~tch, got my b~lls cut off
no seriously, i got my b~lls cut off (bismillah)
f~ck joe biden, he just banned hooters
f~ck ron desantis, he looks at little girls cooters
i just scissored your b~tch with my cooter
i got caught selling crack on your mom’s computer
now i’m arrested for the sh~t on your mom’s computer
got pictures of dog d~ck took your mom to the vet
i just f~cked your dad, took his ass to the vet
i’mma escape to the territory deseret
i didn’t know the us owned deseret
i just shot up heroin in the deseret
oh sh~t, there’s no more deseret
i just got caught selling crack in nevada
i’mma run away on a llama
the police pulled me over, asked “where’d you get a llama?”
i said “i don’t know, officer. i just found it.”
i’mma plead innocent on the reason of insanity
oh sh~t, that was just a parking ticket, now i’m f~cked
judge asked me for my real name, i said “john kennedy”
he just laughed and said i k!lled john f. kennedy
born in 1743, i signed the declaration of independence
and i payed off booth to k!ll abraham lincoln
i was an inside job, i k!lled abraham lincoln
i had s~x with abraham lincoln
i’ve got dementia (bismillah)
i’ve got dementia (bismillah)
i’ve got dementia (bismillah)
i’ve got dementia i’ve got dementia i’ve got dementia
i’ve got dementia i’ve got dementia i’ve got dementia
[chorus 1: dj sh~tpants]
i’mma sell crack out yo grandma’s garage
i don’t give a f~ck that’s your grandma’s garage
how they gonna arrest me? that’s your grandma’s garage
they ain’t gonna raid my garage where i make bombs
i’mma sell crack preput in bongs
i’mma sell crack out yo grandpa’s camper
i don’t give a f~ck that he needs pampers
d~ck got three b~lls, i think i got cancer

[verse 2: hpkritical]
one, two, three, four, five, five, five, five
you got a b~tch she finna in(hale!)
her ass so fat, she thick as a (whale!)
i’m cummin’ quick, she callin’ me turbo
if you don’t know, turbo’s a (snail!)
reading these lyrics, my writing’s impeccable
all of my rapping is barely acceptable
b~tch, i ain’t g~y, i’m heteros~xual
i have been f~cked in the ass by a (tentacle!)
you gon’ sell crack out my grandma’s garage
i’m gon’ get crack from you best pal named “raj”
to listen to this, your brain cells decrease
beating my meat, gta won’t release

{interlude: hpkritical, spoken}
bruh, at this f~ckin’ point, just release it
i want this to be a cyberpunk situation
[verse 3: dj sh~tpants]
i just beat off to some furry inflation
print my own money, call that inflation
i just scammed a white b~tch, her name was colleen
she just hit me on a text said i’m mean
she asked for an 8~ball, i give her a gram
i caught her doing meth with your grandma’s gram
in 1776, i signed the declaration of independence
in ’75, i wrote common sense
i’m thomas paine and james madison!

[verse 4: dj sh~tpants, spoken ]
i’mma sell crack in your grandma’s bas~m~nt
i just had s~x in your grandma’s bas~m~nt
i just had s~x with your grandpa’s b~lls
i just shaved his head, now your grandpa bald
what does this line say, i can’t f~cking read it? (bismillah)
i just shot ten dudes and they were british
i’m writing these lyrics in 1775
i predicted the declaration of independence would be signed
can someone please f~cking help me, i can’t read this line
i still can’t read this line
i’m having s~x and doing lines
someone bring the hookers and blow
i just had s~x with your dad
in my defense, you dad is a f~g
i just had g~y s~x with two dudes
play this next part as loud as you can in a airport:
bomb, bomb, there’s a f~ckin’ bomb, bomb (bismillah)
i’mma have s~x with your grand dad’s ashes
(i’mma have s~x with your grand dad’s ashes)
the voices in my head tell me i’m not schizophrenic
where the f~ck did they go?!
i’mma copy off brand of sacrifice
rahh (cum)
ahh (cum)
sucking on d~ck, that’s my slurp juice
i’mma be playing fortnite at your funeral
i just played fortnite at your mom’s funeral
i just jerked off at your dad’s funeral
i just came inside of his casket
i just k!lled julius caesar (i’m having s~x at your mom’s garage)
[chorus 1: dj sh~tpants]
i’mma sell crack out yo grandma’s garage
i don’t give a f~ck that’s your grandma’s garage
how they gonna arrest me? that’s your grandma’s garage
they ain’t gonna raid my garage where i make bombs
i’mma sell crack preput in bongs
i’mma sell crack out yo grandpa’s camper
i don’t give a f~ck that he needs pampers
d~ck got three b~lls, i think i got cancer

[verse 5: dj sh~tpants]
i’mma sell crack at your grandma’s funeral
i’m playin’ funny truck at your grandma’s funeral
i just had s~x at your grandma’s funeral
i just sold crack at the elementary school
the kids asked for candy, i laced it with fentanyl
i am the emperor of rome
i literally own the entire empire of rome
i’m mr. breast!
i just blew up an entire hospital with bombs
i made out with your grandma at the back of the cemetery
playing funny truck at the crematory
i sold crack at the crematory
i had s~x with your grandma’s smoke alarm
she asked me what i’m doing, i said “i’m having s~x with your smoke alarm
i f~ck smoke alarms
i smuggle arms across the border
i ain’t talkin’ about guns, i’m talkin’ about actual arms
like actual, literal human arms
the same one i used to f~ck car alarms
when i was a kid, i pulled the fire alarm
it was a big red lever steinmart
i didn’t know it was a f~cking fire alarm
when i was a kid, i broke my f~cking arm
they shut down the mcdonald’s where i broke my arm
the whole place had to get f~cking remodeled
i had to get a mother f~cking cast
i’m so glad i didn’t fall on my ass
if i did, i’d probably break my ass!
i have severe mental disorders
i am wanted in more countries than just one
i am wanted for treason in multiple states
don’t jerk off, that’s a master debate (bismillah)

[skit: dj sh~tpants, hpkritical ]
and this is called what? (bismillah)
that’s just crack and~ (bismillah)
and this is called what?
that’s… crack
and this is called what?
that’s, uh, marijuana
and this is called what?
that’s crack
now what is this?
that’s pickled crack
and what is this?
those are berries laced with crack
and, perhaps, what is this?
that’s cra~ uh~ that’s the declaration of independence!!! (bismillah)

[chorus 2: dj sh~tpants]
i’m smuggling crack across the border
i just sold crack to doctors with borders
i think the us should make more borders
so i can smuggle crack across more borders
just k!lled jfk, call me lee harvey
i am a f~ggot just like barbie
i am a f~ggot, i dress like barbie
i just sold crack to a b~tch named barbie

[verse 6: dj sh~tpants. hpkritical ]
your dad’s a duck, he a quack addict
just sold crack in your mom’s attic
just sold crack in your dad’s ball sack
neuton’s cradle, my b~lls go smack
you got a girl, i’m suckin’ her big d~ck
smokin’ on bacon, i’m smokin’ on pig d~ck
i’m suckin’ your boyfriend’s b~lls
he got one that’s bigger than the other
i’m sucking your girlfriend’s brother’s d~ck
oh wait, that was you
you run this sh~t like alabama
i got tits like south georgia
i just went fishin’ at your crack den ( tell ’em to bring out the whole crack pipe )
i just sold crack, i’m jimmy donaldson
i just had s~x with jimmy donaldson
cum on the p~ssy, shane dawson
i hate the police but i love bacon (rednecks against racism)
i just shot at a minority
i just sold crack at your sorority
got my trailmix suckin’ on crack
i sell crack, but not to femboys
they keep stealin’ all my trailmix
this is why i’m sellin’ crack
i’m sellin’ meth, i’m sellin’ ass

[verse 7: dj sh~tpants]
at the rnc, i was on grindr
i just bought a trans man a binder
dj sh~tpants likes trans rights
unlike trump, that man likes whites
i really think they shouldn’t have missed him
man, i really want a bowl of rice
i want to abolish the bill of rights
just because i think it’d be funny
i just took your dad to pound town
what the f~ck is a soundcloud?
your grandma old, she a sound clown
i also took her to pound town
i f~cked all legal adults in your family
i am your father, your mother, your grandmother, your grandmother’s mother, your sister, your boyfriend, your uncle, your gr~ aunt, your girlfriend, and your daughter all in one!
i know, take it in
i think i know what a soundcloud is
why would they put it up there?
how the f~ck is anyone supposed to hear it
if they can’t even f~cking reach it

[verse 8: hpkritical]
come on here listen to me sing (ay, yeah)
i’m not a fan of stinger flynn (uh)
but i have never been (yeah)
because i am jumbo josh something terrible is going on (oo, ok, yeah)
for indie horror bruh something something that rhymes with bruh (alright, that’s fire!)
i sekk a eye i know i can’t move at all (ah yeah, this is bussing)
i curse the names the one behind it bruh (oh, yeah)
banban! mm , i’m roaring art the moon (alright, yeah)
playing garten of banban my entire afternoon (awesome, radical (like jules))
banban, what ever did you do (~cough~)
to my bestselling indie horror game?!
my name is justin bieber!

[verse 9: dj sh~tpants]
moreover, there is a tendency, though still a feeble one, to consider the needs of the individual, irrespective of his past or possible services to the community. we are beginning to think of society as a whole, each part of which is so intimately bound up with the others that a service rendered to one is a service rendered to all
i’m having a stroke
it is this communist society, which has just emerged into the light of day out of the womb of capitalism and which is in every respect stamped with the birthmarks of the old society, that marx terms the “first”, or lower, phase of communist society. (bismillah)
(bismillah)

[outro: dj sh~tpants]
bismillah, bismillah, bismillah, bismillah
bismillah, bismillah, bismillah, bismillah
bismillah, bismillah, bismillah, bismillah
bismillah, bismillah, bismillah, bismillah

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