lirik lagu diane wakoski - i have had to learn to live with my face
you see me alone tonight
my face has betrayed me again
the garage mechanic who promises to fix my car
and never does
my face
that my friends tell me is so full of character;
my face
i have hated for so many years;
my face
i have made an angry contract to live with
though no one could love it;
my face that i wish you would bruise and batter
and destroy, napalm it, throw acid on it
so that i might have another
or be rid of it at last
i drag peac~ck feather behind me
to erase thе trail of the moon. those tears
i shеd for myself
sometimes in anger
there is no pretense in my life. the man who lives with me
must see something beautiful
like a dark snake coming out of my mouth
or love the tapestry of my actions, my life/this body, this
face, they have nothing to offer
but angry insistence, their presence
i hate them
want my life to be more
hate their shadow on even my words
i sell my soul for good plumbing
and hot water
i tell everyone;
and my face is soft
opal
a feathering of snow
against the
cold black leather coat
which is night
you
night
my face against the chilly
expanse
of your back
learning to live with what you’re born with
is the process
the involvement
the making of a life
and i have not learned happily
to live with my face
that diane which always looks better on film
than in life
i sternly accept this plain face
and hate every moment of that sternness
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