lirik lagu diamond wilson – college essay final
diamond wilson
it’s the same as it’s always been; after summer comes fall again and that’s why i smile, thoughts of my grandfather flow in and i am forced to face them once more but they are good ones not the ones where he was sick at all. i remember the fire ants that i’m allergic to; those pesky little ants did more damage than they ever let on as they bit my tiny toes, i remember i didn’t want to cry. i looked up instead at the oak treetops above and began to dream then the pain stopped suddenly and there he was clenching me close looking me down from head to toe. i was only three feet tall. he brushed them off of me and i smiled because it didn’t hurt anymore and the sunlight poured on us. even though the teardrops were stuck in my eye i still wouldn’t cry, it was too beautiful to cry anyway
when i was in third grade the world seemed bright, i didn’t know about the bad things and that’s why everything was good. i ate watermelon off the back of an old black vendors’ truck, my mum brought my big sister and me sandwiches and chocolate chip cookies to school which caused some students to get jealous of me. i never thought much of it. i liked living in the trailer park when i was young too bad we left when i turned five. i was always the tallest in school, for a girl that is so i wore denim overalls every other day but got picked on for it anyway
i start to remember the dusty humid roads of the countryside and the old vendors’ with their sons my age that sell watermelons, peaches and pears, that’s when i was young. even though those days are long gone i still remember them because in a way they choose to remind who i once was, choose to invade my mind and heart until no matter how hard i try not to: i remember
i was three feet tall; trying to climb my grandfather’s willow tree, trying hard not to look behind me to the ground where the cacti’ were in full bloom. then the sunlight doused my eyes and my hand clenched at the dark, no longer there, i fell onto the pr-ckly points of the cactus below. falling wasn’t the hardest part; crashing was, and the pain that shook through my body burst forth in little tiny drops of blood. i remember the time i fell onto that cactus below, that memory sits still in the back of my mind, the worst pain i’ve felt for all time
i remember watching the stars in the sky, standing on the back porch, as they reached down out at me. the feelings of warmth and the deep smell of pine lurches there in the back of my mind. i want to go there, but it’s no longer my place anymore, i want to breath in the scent of the freshwater creek in the back of our old house and the bamboo trees that called to me but i am reminded that place is no longer mine, i have no place like that anymore. no place that’s unsafe but full of wonder and even more, that place isn’t there anymore and it’s no longer mine to explore. but the memory is all mine, for the rest of all time. i remember everything, as if it was all apart of a dream
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