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lirik lagu defo duz - me ex was an extra-terrestrial reptilian

i was sitting on the couch, building a spliff
she was washing me socks in the sink with a cig in her lips
and a drink on the side, she’d stop to take sips
then we ate, candle lit chicken and chips
i forget the exact time, around nine, maybe?
the nights hazy, i’ve been smoking like crazy lately
ok, ok, well, what’s something that you can remember then
cos we can place her at the scene at ten to ten
err, i think brookside was on the background
she walked around thе table and sat down next to me
tiltеd her head suggestively
then lit an l&b pulled out some ecstasy
and then?
well, what you think mate? we took em
why? you arresting me? here’s me wrist’s cuff em
we know why we’re here so let’s be clear
you’re in trouble, i look into your eyes and see fear
yeah, you might be right but you’re wrong about why
i don’t expect a man with a clip on tie to understand though
but the man behind the glass knows
what’ his name? detective inspector frank jones
get him in and i’ll tell you everythin’
(1 minute later)
ok then, let’s begin
the detective inspector entered the room and sat down
well, this better be good, go on
them pills? we took two more
now she’s on all fours on the living room floor
she had these little hot shorts on and pulled em down
beckoned me over with a finger, then spun around
i was looking down like oh my days
then she looked back at me and i swear she blinked sideways
i pushed her off me like what the h~ll
her t~~th turned jagged and her skin started melting off as well
i could feel me heart beating in my brain
next thing i’m running down the street freezin’ in the rain
she caught up with me in the alley, threw some clothes at me
said put em on, just some trabs and an old tracky
you might catch a cold i stood there too stunned to speak
glancing at her scaly green feet
choking back vomit
she laughed said the look on your face i wish i could take a photograph of it
i thought there musta bin some weird sh~t in the e
only 5’3 and grew a tail bigger than me
i rubbed me eyes a hundred times but it didn’t change anything
she told me it’ll be ok, and she’ll explain everything
then i musta blacked out cos i came too in the ken
and she was right there but appeared human again
this isn’t a joke!
she’s on cctv stalking a tory politician and slitting his throat
i haven’t finished yet we were twisted drippin’ sweat
sat there gurnin’, sharing a cigarette
she told me she wasn’t the only one, there’s loads of em ere
then she turned her t~~th jagged again and opened me beer
then passed me the bottle back i said “nice one for that”
then she told me we’re under attack you see
they’re from a dying planet in a distant galaxy
but now she’s gonna save humanity, thanks to me
so you’re welcome, a little thanks’d be appreciated
what’s up with frank he seems inebriated
wait a minute, what time we on?
err, it’s just gone five to one
disguised as old bbc broadcast masts
beaming signals to subdermal transponders
allowing these alien monsters to walk amongst us
there everywhere from buckingham palace to the dingle
but she’s out there right now scrambling the signal
you still look lost, that tory mp was one of them
and so is your boss, just watch
what the? sir, frank are you ok?
don’t be a fool, mate, he’s starting to mutate
grab that pen and stab him in the neck before it’s too late

- lirik lagu defo duz

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