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lirik lagu decopunk 1927 - my least favorite subway line

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[verse 1]
let me tell you of a story from my trip to philly on my least favorite subway line!
i got on at 8th and market to ride patco, but i had a bad time, i was not fine!
everyone i knew had been telling me patco was so awesome and really great!
but opaquely~communicated special weekend schedules made the train seven minutes late!

[chorus]
will i ever return, no i’ll never return, where things did not go as i’d planned!
next time i’ll just take septa rather than attempt another transfer at walter rand!

[verse 2]
my plan involved septa, patco, riverline, njt, metro~north and amtrak
patco’s minor adjustment had brought in the potential to throw my whole plan out of whack!
with a zero~minute transfer i was really nervous and i pleaded with zachary:
“if i miss this, i don’t think i’ll make my train this evening! please don’t let them leave without me!

[chorus]
will i ever return, no i’ll never return, where things did not go as i’d planned!
oh i won’t risk again to miss my train in trenton with a transfer at walter rand!

[verse 3]
then i tried to follow signage to the riverline transfer, but it was a misleading trap!
i’ve not been so disappointed by the hype for something since i ragequit the minish cap!
on the platform i ran back and forth because i didn’t know what to do
i tried shaking on locked gates because i did not realize that the signs were no longer true
[chorus]
will i ever return, no i’ll never return, where things did not go as i’d planned!
septa would be much faster, less chance of disaster than a transfer at walter rand!

[verse 4]
i ran up the steps and charged at the back of the faregate, but i couldn’t find my ticket
turns out it was in my pocket, but i yelled so much the stationmaster just opened it
patco’s trackwork made me act undignified, and people looked at me like i was insane
i don’t need assistance, where the h~ll’s the riverline, i just need a godd~mn train!

[chorus]
will i ever return, no i’ll never return, where things did not go as i’d planned!
drpa must answer for my stressful transfer from the patco at walter rand!

[instrumental solo]

[chorus]
will i ever return, no i’ll never return, where things did not go as i’d planned!
oh no i won’t go back, no i won’t ride the patco to a transfer at walter rand!

will i ever return, no i’ll never return, where things did not go as i’d planned!
next time i’ll just take septa rather than attempt another transfer at walter rand!


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