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lirik lagu decapitation in the food court - twice removed

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i am survived
by my first name only
and a blurry face in slow decay
that’s all that you left
it’s all i could’ve kept
trying to make sense of your
constant repetition of the words i’ve heard so many times before

oh how unclean
to dig beneath
this desperate chronology of
indeterminate intimacy
factors outside of both of our control
made all the difference
it held you t~~tering
it pushed me off the edge
(it held me t~~tеring
it pushed you off the edgе)

never far away from never getting older
never letting anybody know because we’re just a liability
victims of vestigial utility
blinding ourselves to each other’s fragility
falling down the pedestal
i put you on
you put me on
tearing down my mom upon the dawn
bury me in irony
make my life a joke
avoid and forget
it’s how the kids these days cope
laugh on the bus and
cry when you get home
make it impossible for mom and dad to truly know

if i could start again
a million miles away
i would k!ll myself
i would find a way
if i could start again
a million miles away
i would k!ll myself
i would find a way

don’t know what it meant to me
too young for weary creases
too old to be seen
you k!lled yourself at fifteen
if only we were born to different homes
it would’ve been me
it should’ve been me
you k!lled yourself at fifteen


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