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lirik lagu combofun scripts - episode 6: aiden's anger management

lights… camera… action!!!

(it all starts off in ‘learn to be smart school’, tunner (the teacher) walks in, and is not looking happy)

tunner: alright class, i am so mad! i am so angry because one of you kids cr~pped in the sink in the bathroom! so when i went to wash my hands, i got p~~p all over my hands! so, i wanna know which one of you did it! ~throws the desktop globe in anger~

aiden: ~whispers to sky~ it was me.. i did it

~aiden & sky both laugh quietly~

tunner: so, no one’s gonna fess up to it, huh? hmm, alright that means the whole class is gonna get punished! so you guys are gonna have to write sentences

sky: write sentences?

aiden: i know a sentence to write, deez nuts!

~sky & aiden start laughing~

tunner: silence! alright class, since no one wants to admit to taking a cr~p in the sink, all of you are gonna have to write: “i will not p~~p in the sink”, 100 times! so pull out your pencil & paper, and get to writing!

sky: 100 times?!

aiden: hey, sky. look what i drew: ~pulls out a paper of tunner saying: who dookied in sink!?~
~sky & aiden laugh quietly~

raddy: tunner!! aiden drew a picture of you!

aiden: raddy shut up, it’s a joke!

tunner: jesus christ, guys. i can’t enjoy my hot dogs & ramen noodles without you interrupting me! aiden, let me see the picture. ~sn~tches the picture~ what do we have here?

~tunner reads and laughs a little~

tunner: very funny, aiden. that’s exactly what i said earlier when i was mad! hahahaha! …anyways, aiden. since you decided you wanna be a comedian today, you now have to write 200 times instead of 100! that is your homework!

aiden: what?

raddy: ~laughs~ good luck writing all those sentences!

aiden: ~angry~ grrr… ~walks out the door~

raddy: look at him run away like a baby!

aiden: ~walks back in with boxing gloves~ ding ding ding!

raddy: are those boxing gloves?

aiden: nighty night! ~punches raddy~
tunner: ~sighs~ i am so tired of all this screaming.. aiden, go to the princ~p~l’s office, please..

~30 minutes later~

velvette: what’s wrong, valentino?

valentino: i have this weird feeling that aiden did something bad

~jax walks in here with aiden~

jax: in this corner, recently suspended from school, assault charges pending, weighing in at 120 pounds, aiden the bully slayer!!

aiden: ding ding ding! ~punches a box with a face on it and kicks it~

jax: and we have a winner!!

aiden: wooooo!!!

jax: great job, kiddo. you’re an animal! ~gives him handshake~ that’s my boy right there!

valentino: what’s going on, officer?

jax: your kid beat the cr~p out of another kid at school

valentino: aiden, why did you do that?
aiden: because he was making me mad

valentino: what’s going to happen, officer?

jax: well now he’s getting suspended for 10 days

aiden: yes, that’s what i’m talking about, papa

jax: yeah, or he can take anger management classes

valentino: well, he definitely needs anger management classes

aiden: ~angry~ i don’t need anger management classes!!! ~throws a toy in anger~

jax: well, clearly you do

velvette: well, who’s going to teach him anger management?

jax: well that would be me

valentino: well, he needs anger management so do whatever you have to do, alright?

jax: ok. ~30 minutes later, jax changes in his doctor clothes~ hey, did somebody call a doctor?

valentino: umm… yes?

~aiden plays with his mini piano~

valentino: aiden, stop playing with your mini piano, the doctors here

jax: hey there, aiden. it’s nice to finally meet you!

~aiden still plays with the mini piano~

valentino: aiden, stop it!

~aiden hisses like an angry cat since he’s angry~

jax: ok, aiden. we’re gonna try some anger management exercises, okay? the first thing we’re gonna do is take deep breaths, it’s a classic. do it like me! ~breaths in and out 3 times~ try that

aiden: ~breathes in~ oooohhh yeahhhhh!!!

jax: w~ what?

aiden: ~breathes in~ america, h~ll yeaaahhhhhh!!!!!

valentino: aiden, stop it!

aiden: ~breathes in~ burgers and shotguns!!!!!!!

jax: ok, nevermind. we’re not gonna do breathing exercises. instead, whenever you get mad, try counting to 10 until you calm down. …but how am i gonna make you mad again? oh i know! ~takes away the mini piano~

aiden: hey, that’s my mini piano!

jax: oh, this thing? that’s stupid, i mean… make up your mind, is it mini or is it a piano? what does this do? ~presses key~ oh, so predictable, it makes a sound. it’s so dumb, people who like this are dumb

aiden: ~angry~ grrrrrrrr

jax: perfect, now count to 10!

aiden: one… two… three… four… ugh what comes after four!?!?!?!

jax: i’m not gonna tell you what comes after four, what are you stupid?

aiden: ~screams in anger, and punches holes in walls~

jax: ok ok, chill! i guess that didn’t work.. i have another plan, do you have any balloons?

valentino: yeah, it’s in the party cabinet

jax: ok

~10 minutes later, jax brings in the balloons~

jax: alright, aiden. this one is called the balloon exercise. do you have the sharp tack that i gave you?

aiden: yep, right here

jax: good! now what we’re gonna do, we’re gonna pretend this balloon is a person, and he’s gonna insult you. what i need you to do is hold back your anger and try not to pop the balloon. if you pop it, you fail. ok?

aiden: got it

jax: ok, here we go. ~shakes the balloon a little to make it look like it’s talking~ oh, aiden. you’re so stupid and ugly, i’m glad i don’t like you, which you’re stupid and ugly!

aiden: ~gets mad and pops the balloon in anger~

jax: oh, see aiden? that’s bad, you’re not supposed to pop the balloon

valentino: kiddo, you’re not supposed to pop the balloon

aiden: oh ok

jax: ~brings out another balloon which has shrek on it. jax does a shrek impression~ oh, aiden! get out of my swamp! you’re too stupid to be in my swamp. bleh!

aiden: ~gets mad and pops the balloon in anger~

jax: that’s a bad boy, you’re not supposed to pop shrek. ~grabs another balloon and has sh~ggy from scooby doo on it~

valentino: aiden, hold your anger back

aiden: i’m trying!

jax: ~holding the sh~ggy balloon, and making the impression~ zoinks, scoob! it’s aiden. don’t give him any scooby snacks, he’s ugly!

aiden: ~gets mad and pops the balloon in anger~

jax: no. you’re a bad boy, aiden. you’re not supposed to do that. ~grabs another balloon, it has the terminator on it~

jax: ~holding the balloon while making a terminator impression~ oh, jeffy! it’s me, the terminator. you is so stupid, put that cookie down now!

aiden: ~gets mad and pops the balloon in anger~

jax: nope, not quite. ~grabs another balloon~

valentino: aiden, you’re failing

jax: ~holds the balloon with plankton on it, and does the impression~ ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli!

aiden: oh, i actually like plankton

jax: there you go, buddy. that’s great! we’re making progress!

valentino: but he popped 4 balloons though

jax: yeah but he didn’t pop plankton, so he’s doing good. follow me!

~jax & aiden are in the combofun game room~

jax: alright, aiden. this is the sore loser exercise. so, for this exercise, i’m gonna beat the cr~p out of you in air hockey, and you have to try to not get mad like a little baby. which is gonna be hard cause you’re about to get owned by me in air hockey! i’m one of the best popular air hockey players, you’re gonna be like “how are you so good at air hockey?”, and i’ll be like “i don’t know, it’s a natural gift that i have.” alright, so turn it on!

aiden: alright. ~puts a quarter in there so we can play the game~

jax: alright, let’s go!

~they play and aiden wins the first one~

jax: oh, alright. imma let you have that one. ~brings the puck out again~ alright, prepare for a slaughtering! here we go!

~aiden wins again~

jax: alright, i’d like a good comeback story. ~brings the puck out again~ you’re not getting another point!

~aiden wins again~

jax: ~brings the puck out again~ alright, i know you think you’re good but you’re not. i’ll let you do that so you’ll be more mad when i win

~aiden wins again~

jax: alright, alright. you’re kinda starting to tick me off a little bit, but that’s fine. ~brings the puck out again~ alright, get ready! you’re getting rekt!

~aiden wins again~

jax: ~brings the puck out again~ alright, i was playing around but now i ain’t playin’. i’ll let you get a five point lead, because that’s what you’re gonna need if you ever wanna beat me. i’m not playing around, this is for real okay?

~aiden wins again~
jax: ~brings the puck out again~ alright, hahaha very funny. you have a 6 point lead now. i know, the first to seven wins. ok, but i know don’t worry. i’m gonna make a comeback! it’s fine, i’m gonna win, watch this! i can see you getting mad over there, i see the fury in your eyes. but don’t worry, i’m not mad. i’m cool, cool as a cucumber. ok? get ready to be mad cause i’m gonna win

~aiden wins the last time, and gets a 7 point win at air hockey~

jax: oh, that is it! oh no no. ~jax beats aiden up~

valentino: woah woah, get off him!

jax: but he cheated

valentino: how?

jax: he probably put b~tter on the puck or something, i don’t know

valentino: you know, maybe you need anger management

jax: no, it’s fine. let’s do another exercise

~10 minutes later~

jax: ok, aiden. this is pet therapy. ~gives aiden a cam the cat squishmallow~

aiden: cool, a kitty!

jax: yep, whenever you get mad, you just pet this cat like this. ~puts hand on cat squishmallow and rubs it~ y’know? like me whenever i lose at air hockey! you know how that makes me mad. cause i was playing against a little chump, and i lost to him, even though he doesn’t know what he’s doing, ~gets a little mad again~ and he probably cheated, and that’s why he probably won in the first place, which is ridiculous because i’m a champion at the game!!! ~throws the cam the cat squishmallow~

aiden: no, the kitty!

valentino: you threw it, why?

jax: sorry… l~ let’s just try something else

valentino: ok

~jax brings out dollar bills~

jax: now we’re gonna try money therapy, which is what i do and all the other things i try don’t work, so i just try to bribe the person to stop being mad so i can go home

aiden: ok

jax: so, i’m gonna sit here and insult you, and every time i insult you, you don’t get mad. i’ll give you a dollar, how does that sound?

aiden: sounds good to me!

jax: alright. ~picks up a dollar bill~ the other day, someone asked me if you’re a boy or a girl and i said ugly…