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lirik lagu cole can swim - scared little kid

[verse 1]
i’m still that same little kid
in his room tryna hide from the ghosts
and hope my fears don’t consume me
that same little kid in his room
all the lies that i wrote
with the looks disapproving
the scared little boy in his room
all he wants is to know
can someone pursue me?
that scared little boy in his room
and a love he can show
but she took off her jewelry
they use me, they said it
i’m broken, embedded
i spoke and neglected
thе faith i’m indebted
i’m scared
thе demons i let in
are so copacetic
i feed my depression despair
i can’t feel his presence
i cried and i questioned
the lord god in heaven
you there?
my bruised adolescence
the pain never lessens
i need your direction so clear
oh that scared little kid
isn’t going anywhere
he just started paying rent
he’s afraid
he doesn’t understand
all the trauma and the shame
so he runs from the wind
and the rain
i’ve kept in a sp~ce
in my soul in a cage
every time he feels pain
he escapes
he’ll always find a way
to avoid taking blame
that little boy still remains
[verse 2]
there’s still one too many secrets
that i wish i could forget
they exposed me for my weakness
i told scott it was a myth
and i prayed that god would take my shame away
he never did
so what else to do but lay awake
and hide inside my skin
all my sin was at the door
waiting on me, let ‘em in
walk into the perfect storm
all the more that i pretend
maybe i’m right at the end
maybe there’s no more to give
all the sh~t that they inflicted
on that scared, scared little kid

[verse 3]
i can’t control the things i’ve been through
abuse that i descent to
and love i don’t consent to
the kid i used to be did not deserve
all of these issues
but who we get to be is still the product
of what we choose
the selfishness developed
is a trauma i continue
it’s my responsibility
to end the sh~t i give you
to step into my freedom
i no longer will pretend to
be someone i’m not
you can consider this my breakthrough
[verse 4]
and i’ll say it
i know the pain i’ve caused
is so betraying
i know it’s time to put down the facade
and make a statement
and look at the relationships i’ve lost
to all the hatred
with bits of insecurities i know
come from my the bas~m~nt
this feeling of never feeling enough
i can’t escape it
i really hope they love me
can i overcome this place
where my fears and desires
make me feel like i’m patrick bateman
maybe i’ll find freedom
when i finally walk away
now i’m choosing to be honest
if they never love me too
i’m choosing to be honest
even if they misconstrue
i’m choosing to be honest
if they never want the truth
i choose to keep my promise
even though i’ve been abused
i’m still going to therapy
these cycles must conclude
embracing this embarrassment
this sh~t will not resume
walk through my disparagement
and know i’ve been accused
but all i feel is free now
and i’m the man i choose

- lirik lagu cole can swim

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