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lirik lagu chrislperez - hit me back (dear charles) | stan parody

[chorus: chrislp]
my taser’s gone cold, i’m wondering why i
can’t break this fragile wall
no ammo to shoot through this window
and i can’t dodge at all
or even tablet~jump as high as gray
and latte’s on the leaderboards
he reminds me that i’m not so fast
it makes me sad!

[verse 1: chrislp]
dear charles, i pinged you, but you still ain’t callin’
i fixed some cells, but my majors and nitpicks you didn’t fix though
i sent two reports back in autumn, you must not’ve got’em
there probably was a problem with the promidius or something
sometimes l send the weirdest bugs, yet no one’s gonna find’em
but anyways, f~ck it, what’s been up, man, how’s your dayjob?
my girlfriеnd’s invisible too, i doubt that yours is hotter
if i had a daughter, guеss what i would call her?
i would name her amélie
i read about your partner pauline too, i’m sorry
i had a friend who stopped moddin’ coz your code was too hard for him
i know that baldus keeps telling you the same, but i’m your biggest fan
i even got the 0.1.5 dev build that you once sent
i got the sp~ce run 3d posters and wallpapers, man
i liked the pulsar’s journey app too, that sh~t was fat
anyways, i hope you get this, man
hit me back, just to chat. truly yours, your biggest fan
this is stian
[chorus: chrislp]
my hover won’t work, i don’t know why
i can’t get across this hall
no jetpack to fly through this window
i’ve got no health at all
and i can’t mod the game as much as j
but sakul’s on the leaderboards
he reminds me, that i’m not so fast
i’ll soon be last!

[verse 2: chrislp]
dear charles, you still ain’t called or wrote, i hope you have a chance
i ain’t mad, i just think it’s f~cked up you don’t answer fans!
if you didn’t wanna talk to me outside your live stream
you didn’t have to, but you could’ve signed an autograph for mandy
that’s my little sister, man, she’s only 12 years old
we’d been reporting bugs for you for four hours and you just said: “no!”
that’s pretty sh~tty, man, you’re like her favorite idol
she wants to play games like yours, man, she likes you more than eidos
i ain’t that mad though, i just don’t like bein’ lied to
remember when we met in discord?
you said if i’d write you, you would write back…
see, i’m just like you, in a way, i never knew how to code neither
i used to only cheat in games if i couldn’t beat’em
i can relate to the feelings in fs songs
so when i have a sh~tty day, i drift away and put’em on
‘coz i don’t really got sh~t else so that sh~t helps when i’m depressed
i even got a tattoo of haze games across the chest
sometimes i even use debug to give you more stuff to fix
it’s like a vendetta ~ for how long i’ve waited for le
see, every feature you plan is fuel, and all your promises are fire
my ex was jealous ’cause i talked about you more than i did her
but she didn’t know you like i know you, aze, no one does!
she didn’t know what it was like for gamers like us growin’ up
you gotta call me, man! i’ll be the biggest fan you’ll ever love
sincerely yours, stian
p.s. we should split the revenues…
[chorus: chrislp]
your laser’s gone cold, i’m wondering why
it doesn’t hurt my b~lls
the morningstar got banned from haze games
and i’m not sad at all
i was ’bout to speedrun ch1 today
but baldus on the leaderboards
it reminds me, that cheating’s bad
that’s what she said!

[verse 3: chrislp]
dear mister “i’m too good to call or write my fans”
this will be the last message i ever send your ass!
been six months with no updates, i don’t deserve it
i know you got my last two reports, my alt and b keys are just perfect
so this is my pre~alpha key i’m sending you, invalidate it
i’m really p~ssed right now, i’m sending 90 nitpicks your way
hey charly, i drank a fifth of vodka, you dare me to play?
you know that dialogue in ch2 ’bout the protagonist finding a bar
and then the girl says it’s not the right place to be drinking
but near a tree they’ve found a bottle, got drunk and drowned in the pond?
that’s kinda how this is, you coulda stopped me from playtesting
now it’s too late, i’ve made a thousand bug reports in 4 years
and all i wanted was a level editor, not a role
i’ve uninstalled your games, they’re all just gone like saul
i loved you charly, we could’ve lived together, think about it
you ruined it now, i hope you can’t code and you dream about it
and when you realize you can’t release fs, you will scream about it
i hope these bugs will eat your game and you can’t fix’em without me
see, charles… shut up baldus! i’m tryin’ to talk!
hey charly, that’s your number 1 fan screamin’ in the trunk
but i didn’t time him out, i just tied him up, see i ain’t like you
’cause if he suffocates, he’ll get bruises and banned from life too
well, gotta go, i’m by the london bridge now
oh, sh!t, i forgot… if i keep cursing i’ll just get timed out!
[chorus: sakultheslayer]
jav’s le gone cold, i’m wondering why
he’s just using a.i
the mod from gray seen through the window
it makes me wanna fall
was gonna hang with sayori today
but someone finally joined the call
it was melody in voiceless chat
who made me mad!

[verse 4: sakultheslayer]
dear stian, i meant to reply to you sooner, but i’ve just been busy
you said your girlfriend’s invisible too, how see through is she?
look, i’m really flattered you would call your daughter that
i saw the report from your sister, i’ll give her a tester role hat
i’m sorry i didn’t see your reports, the bot must’ve missed ’em
don’t think i did that sh~t intentionally to embarass you
but what’s this sh~t about destroyin’ baldus’ times too?
why’d you get jealous, dawg, you know he ain’t gonna stick like glue
you got’em bugs man, you need to get some sleepin’
to help you with’em headaches, i’ll have to mute you for the weekend
and what’s this sh~t about us profittin’ together?
that type of sh~t’ll make me stay away from you forever
i really think you and your girlfriend need each other
or maybe you just need to f~ck her, brother
i hope you didn’t burn her feathers, i just hope i’ve hit you back in time
before you stop buggin’, i’m sure that you’d be doing just fine
if you relax a little, i’m glad that i inspire you
but, stian, why are you so mad?
try to understand that i don’t want you getting banned
i just don’t want you to do some baldus sh~t
i’ve seen this one sh~t on the server a couple months ago that made me sick
some dude was drunk jetpacking over london bridge
with a bald guy on his back, who wouldn’t stop saying “lemme sheat!”
and in the big room was a tape, but they didn’t say who it was to
come to think about it, his name was, it was you
d~mn!

- lirik lagu chrislperez

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